Your Most Humble Sheriff And The Gandy Candy Man Reap A Big Harvest

Martin Truex, Jr.

At the end of a riveting, breathtaking battle that had fans in the grandstands on their feet long after the checkered flag, Martin Truex Jr. held off Kyle Busch by .681 seconds at Homestead-Miami Speedway to win Sunday’s Ford Eco-Boost 400 and his first Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series title.

In Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s last race in the No. 88 Hendrick Motorsports Chevrolet, Truex—one of Earnhardt’s closest friends—kept Busch behind him during a 34-lap green-flag run to the finish.

“It’s just overwhelming,” a tearful Truex said in Victory Lane. “To think about all the rough days and bad days, the days that we couldn’t run 20th, to be here—I never thought this day would come, and to be here is so unbelievable.”

The victory was a timely gift for Furniture Row Racing owner Barney Visser, who is back home in Denver, Colo., recovering from a heart attack and subsequent bypass surgery. It was also a gift to Truex’s long-time girlfriend Sherry Pollex, who has been battling ovarian cancer.

The Fraternal Order of The Go Fast

 

Both Skid-Marc and Linda The Cookie Mom were riding high today with the hottest drvier all season, the race winner and 2017 MENCS championm Martin Truex, Jr!  For all their chewed finger nails and anxiety they added 40 points to their 3rd segment totals, the second highest score for the weekend.

 

The Movers and Shakers

 

This was one of those weeks where the race winner did not produce the highest scores for the players.  This week Kyle Larson, who won both stages and finished the race in third place, produced the highest score, 54 points, for his rooters.  Those players supporting “Young Money” at Homestead include Doug The Gandy Candy Man, Jerry The Buschwacker, Cole The Redneck Understudy, Lonna The Quilt Angel, as well as Leon Your Most Humble Sheriff.

Meanwhile, Carlton The Doorman was really hoping that Chase Elliott could rack up his first MENCS win before this season came to end.  But it was not to be.  Nevertheless, Elliott provided The Doorman with 39 points to end this segment.

Both Jeremy The Coach and Kathy The Church Forecloser “put it all in” with Kyle Busch, and for a while it looked like KyBu was going to add another championship to his resume.  But alas, Rowdy had to settle for 2nd place and contributed 35 points to these two today.

Rounding out the top five scorers is Edie The Las Vegas Super Star gathering up 33 points from Matt Kenseth’s 8th place finish.

Quite to my sruprise 18 of the 21 players moved around on the leaderboard this final week.  The biggest mover is A&M Aggie Sue, who slithered down the totem pole five (5) spots to end the segment in 13th place.

This mismatched quintet, Jeremy The Coach, Edie The Las Vegas Super Star, Jerry The Buschwacker, David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey, as well as Jim, aka Chiefy all moved three (3) places.  The Coach, The Las Vegas Super Star and The Buschwacker all climbed up three spots to end the segment in 8th, 9th and 16th, respectively.  Whereas The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey and Chiefy stumbled and feel down three places to sit in 17th and 20th, resectively.

This next group consisting of Lonna The Quilt Angel, Bobby Blue Crush, Carole, aka Rudy, and Linda The Cookie Mom moved two (2) positions.  The Quilt Angel and The Cooklie Mom stepped up two spots to wind up in 4th and 18th, respectively.  But  Blue Crush and Rudy slipped down two places ti sit in 5th and 7th, respectively.

Rounding out the movers this final race of the year is a group of eight plaers.  Those eight players are Cole The Redneck Understudy, Carlton The Doorman, Snoopy Dawn, Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle, Kathy The Church Forecloser, Zee, aka Sissy, Skid-Marc and Dan The Numbers Cruncher all moved just one spot.  The Redneck Understudy, The Doorman, The Church Forecloser, ol Skidz, and Sissy al moved up one position to finish out in 3rd, 6th, 14th and 15th, respectively.  Whereas Snoopy, The Highly Opinionated One and The Numbers Dude slid one spot to sit in 10th, 11th and 19th, respectively.

 

Straight From The Crapper

 

This week we have two players wo will be sharing the last “Crappiest Pick Of The Week” award for 2017.  Both A&M Aggie Sue and David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey close out the year with just a single digit, 4 points, for their score at Homestead!

And I am happy to report that Bernie The Bay Area Bandit secured her position in “The Outhouse” for the entire offseason!

Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christomas to all!

TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVES UP, FLIP YOUR VISOR DOWN, AND LET’S GO RACIN”!

“Young Money” Gets The Nod At Homestead

Kyle Larson and Owen Larson

This week the long grueling 36 week MENCS season comes to an end and the 2017 champion will be crowned at Homestead.  Additionally, the 21 “Rednecks” of this fantasy league will get about a 93 day reprieve before we gather again for more fun in 2018 with the running of the Daytona 500!  At this time of year Your Most Humble Sheriff gets a little sad to realized that the season is over and that I am another year older.  Nevertheless, we can not slow the clock for the race season, just like we cannot slow the aging clock!

So for the final time this season we will take a look at our Championship weekend choices.

 

Our Homestead Selections

 

It is quite interesting that one quarter of the fantasy league, five players in total, are “pushing it all in” for “Young Money” this week.  Those five players riding shotgun with Kyle Larson this week includes Doug The Gandy Candy Man, Jerry The Buschwacker, Cole The Redneck Understudy, Lonna The Quilt Angel, and Your Most Humble Sheriff.  Were these five players hoping, when they were laying the segment out in their minds, that they were picking Larson to win at Homestead and also picking him for the championship?  Interesting thought, wouldn’t you say?  Unfortunately the Chip Ganassi Racing team’s wheels have come off of the car over the last month!

Other than the aforementioned group supporting “Young Money”, we have a very widely scattered area of support from the remaining players.  There are six drivers with a support group of two players on their side this week.

Starting off the list is Dan The Numbers Cruncher and Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle who are hoping to be up on the pit box of the driver formally known as “The Outlaw”, now recognized by his given name, Kurt Busch.

Meanwhile, Kathy The Church Forecloser and Jeremy The Coach will be encouraging the younger brother, “The Shrub” this week.  Both are hoping that Kyle Busch can grab his second MENCS championship and bring the trophy home to Joe Gibbs Racing.

The duo of A&M Aggie Sue and David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey are hoping that Kasey Kahne will use his last race with Hendrick Motorsports to capitalize on being a spoiler to win with that organization.

Both Bobby Blue Crush and Snoopy Dawn are banding together this week to go way out on the a limb to support Jamie McMurray for the win at Homestead.

It appears that Carole, aka Rudy, and Bernie The Bay Area Bandit must be drinking the same kool-aid.  Both ladies are fully behind “Rocket Man”, also known as “No Neck (Ryan) Newman”, this week at Homestead.

And finally both Skid-Marc and Linda The Cookie Mom are hoping that Martin Truex, Jr. can end the season with a very large exclamation point to  a miraculous 2017 season.

Through he miracles of basic math, and my basic knowledge of logic, that leaves nine players who are in bidnez for themselves this week!

When the checkered flag flies at Homestead there will be five happy players who will be receiving some segment three winner’s share money.  Additionally there will be two more players who will get a sizable check.  One will be rewarded for his/her “playoff knowledge”, and the other player will be rewarded for his/her consistency throughout the entire 2017 race season!  That is to say that there will be seven players who will be on the receiving end of their “river of dreams”, just like the crowned MENCS champion will be!

Good luck to all this week at Homestead!

TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVES UP, FLIP YOUR VISOR DOWN, AND LET’S GO RACIN’!

Your Most Humble Sheriff Is Still On Top With One To Go

Matt Kenseth

What a race in The Valley of The Sun!  It had strategy, it had excitement, it had the thrill of victory, and ultimately it had the agony of defeat!

The middle-aged man without a ride for 2018 drove a dagger through the heart of the youngster expected to shine in the Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series for years to come.

With nine laps left in Sunday’s Can-Am 500 at Phoenix Raceway, 45-year-old Matt Kenseth passed 21-year-old Chase Elliott for the lead and pulled away to win for the first time since the July 2016 New Hampshire race, breaking a 51-event winless string.

Kenseth’s victory, the 39th of his career, deprived Elliott of a chance to run for the series championship next Sunday at Homestead-Miami Speedway and kept Chevrolet out of the title race. The win also was a gift to Brad Keselowski, who survived a lackluster afternoon with enough points to advance to the Championship 4 event.

 

The Fraternal Order of The Go Fast

 

There was only one player, Linda The Cookie Mom, who was riding shotgun for 312 laps with the race winner, Matt Kenseth.  In what most likely be Matt Kenseth’s penultimate race of his NASCAR career, The Cookie Mom will bathe in the exuberance of this victory, as well as lap up those nifty 56 points.

 

The Movers and Shakers

 

An unlikely and slightly mismatched trio of players, Edie The Las Vegas Super Star, Carole, aka Rudy and David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey, racked up 45 points at Phoenix from two different drivers.  The Las Vegas Super Star and The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey were riding high wide and handsome with the crowd favorite, Chase Elliott, while Rudy was riding with another young gun, Erik Jones.

Nearly one third of our fantasy league, six players in total, were united in their support for “Freaky Fast” Kevin Harvick last weekend.  Those six players include Doug The Gandy Candy Man, Cole The Redneck Understudy, Jim, aka Chiefy, Kathy The Church Forecloser, Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle, and Leon Your Most Humble Sheriff.  This group were handily rewarded with 43 points.

Meanwhile, being a very independent dude, Dan The Numbers Cruncher isolated himself from the rest with a very strategical selection of Jamie McMurray that rewarded him with 35 points at Phoenix.

Rounding out the top five scorers this week is a trio of players that consists of Lonna The Quilt Angel, Bobby Blue Crush and A&M Aggie Sue.  This group was all supporting the PIR Spring race winner, Ryan Newman, and for their efforts received 22 points.

This late in the segment usually does not see movement in huge chunks, but will show slight adjustments on the sliding scale.  This week fit into that observation, that is with one small deviation.  Both Carole, aka Rudy and Snoopy Dawn made a rather large change, five (5) places, to their previous position.  Rudy is ending the segment with a charge to the top landing in 5th place this week.  While Snoopy is slip sliding away, now resting in 9th!

Likewise, Ol Skid-Marc seems to be getting loose, having some sort of handling issues, and is sliding down the totem pole this week, sitting now in 15th spot.

There are five players, Kathy The Church Forecloser, David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey, Zee, aka Sissy, Jim, aka Chiefy and Jerry The Buschwacker all moved two positions after the checkered flag waved at PIR.  The Church Forecloser, The Throttle Jockey and ol Chiefy all stepped up two (2) places this week finishing up the week in 13th, 14th, and 17th places respectively.  However, Sissy and The Buschwacker stumbled down two places to sit in 16th and 19th, respectively.

Lastly, we have another large group, six players, who just side stepped one place this week.  This group of six includes Cole The Redneck Understudy, Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle, Jeremy The Coach, Edie The Las Vegas Super Star, Linda The Cookie Mom and Bernie The Bay Area Bandit.  The Redneck Understudy, The Opinionated One, The Las Vegas Super Star and The Cookie Mom moved up one position, holding in 10th, 12th and 20th spots, respectively.  The Coach and The Bay Area Bandit slipped and fell one place to 11th and 21st, respectively.

 

Straight From The Crapper

 

With just 11 points scored this week, Snoopy Dawn quietly will accept this week’s “Crappiest Pick of The Week” award!  Speaking about crappy performances, this week we need to go no farther than to congratulate Bernie The Bay Area Bandit for her ability to navigate her way back to a familiar place for her “The Outhouse”!

Next week the season culminates with the crowning of the 2017 champion at Homestead and the other 39 drivers could be soothing their championship wounds.  I just, in fact, wonder if the non championship drivers are thinking to themselves, as they leave the track, that they did all that they could have done and that they “haven’t got time for the pain” for their inability to pull off the championship at Homestead?

TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVES UP, FLIP YOUR VISOR DOWN, AND LET’S GO RACIN’!

They Like Harvick At Phoenix

Kevin Harvick

We have only two races remaining in this 2017 NASCAR season!  Where did the time go?  When I ask that question of myself, in the back of my head, I hear vague the words of Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band.

Twenty years now
Where’d they go?
Twenty years
I don’t know
Sit and I wonder sometimes
Where they’ve gone

And sometimes late at night
When I’m bathed in the firelight
The moon comes callin’ a ghostly white
And I recall
I recall!

This week all three series roll into the Valey of The Sun.  Technically the race track is not located in the city limits of  Phoenix.  No, it is actually located west of the the city in Avondale, AZ.  Once again Your Most Humble Sheriff will have media credentials for the weekend of great racing at PIR.

 

Our Phoenix Choices

 

Surprise, surprise more than one quarter of the the fantasy league have jumped on board with Kevin Harvick at Phoenix!  There are six players that includes, Doug The Gandy Candy Man, Cole The Redneck Understudy, Jim, aka Chiefy, Kathy The Church Forecloser, Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle, as well as Your Most Humble Sheriff who are betting the farm that “Freaky Fast” Harvick can go back-to-back at PIR.  Additionally, it appears that those players have done their homework when it comes to Phoenix and Harvick!

Meanwhile, Lonna The Quilt Angel, Bobby Blue Crush and A&M Aggie Sue all are riding shotgun  with the Spring Phoenix race winner, “Rocket Man” Ryan Newman.

There are four drivers that have a rooting section of two plaers each this week.

Leading the list is Skid-Marc and Bernie The Bay Area Bandit who are together on their focus and hopes for their man Kurt Busch.

Just as passionate in their support for Chase Elliott this week, and hoping that he can register his first MENCS victory at Phoenix, is Edie The Las Vegas Super Star and David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey.

Both Carlton The Doorman and Zee, aka Sissy, are backing one of the premiere “punters” in this series, Denny Hamlin, this week.

Lastly, Jerry The Buschwacker and Jeremy The Coach are hoping tthat Kasey Kahne can add one last victory while he is still in a quality race car!

Good luck to all at Phoenix!

If you all thought that the race at Martinsville was exciting and suspenseful, just wait till the green flag flies at Phoenix this weekend.  Over the last few years this race has been one of the highlights of the entire race season.!  As the laps wind down it is like a bunch of “riders on the storm”!

TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVES UP, FLIP YOUR VISOR DOWN, AND LET’ GO RACIN’!

Your Most Humble Sheriff Still Sits On Top

Kevin Harvick

Kevin Harvick rolled to victory Sunday at Texas Motor Speedway, passing Martin Truex Jr. with 10 laps left to clinch an automatic berth in the Championship 4 field in the Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series Playoffs.

Harvick led five times for 38 of the 334 laps in the AAA Texas 500, his Stewart-Haas Racing No. 4 Ford holding a 1.580-second margin of victory at the finish. Harvick’s second win of the season was his first on the 1.5-mile Fort Worth track and the 37th of his Monster Energy Series career.

 

The Fraternal Order of The Go Fast

 

This week we have just one player who was reading her tea leaves correctly.  Lonna The Quilt Angel saved up her Kevin Harvick choice for just the right race, the AAA Texas 500The Quilt Angel added 59 all important points to her 3rd segment totals.

 

The Movers and Shakers

 

Not far behind The Quilt Angel this week on the scoring pylon is Bobby Blue Crush.  Ol Blue Crush was riding shotgun with the hottest driver of the 2017 NASCAR season, Martin Truex, Jr., who was the bridesmaid to Harvick this week, but rewarded Blue Crush with 51 points.

Both A&M Aggie Sue and Jerry The Buschwacker conspired together choosing Ryan Blaney this week.  When the checkered flag flew at Texas,  Blaney crossed the line with a 6th place finish and put 42 points in their column.

Notwithstanding the latest news regarding the 2003 Cup champion, Matt Kenseth, publicly stating that he has nothing next year and that this was his last year in NASCAR, Kathy The Church Forecloser rallied with her man, Kenseth, adding a nifty 40 points to her totals.

Rounding out the top five scorers this week is Jim, aka Chiefy Ol Chiefy had all his marbles on the polesitter and track record holder, Kurt Busch.  The driver, formally known as “The Outlaw”, rallied in the late stages of the race to finish in 9th place rewarding Chiefy with 38 points.

With just two races left in the season it is quite surprising that there are so many areas within the scoring pylon that are extremely close.  Therein lies the reason that 16 out of 21 players slid around on the leaderboard this week.

The bigest movers this week is al all female duo of Lonna The Quilt Angel and Carole ,aka Rudy, who moved six (6) places this week.  The Quilt Angel rocketed up the totem pole six places to rest in 6th place.  Unfortunately, Rudy plummeted down six spots to sit in 10th place.

Meanwhile, Ol Skid-Marc stumbled, slipped and fell four (4) spots to land in 12th place.

Moving three (3) places, after the checkered flag fell at Texas, was Jerry The Buschwacker and Linda The Cookie Mom.  The Buschwacker had a good afternoon, moving up three spots to reside now in 17th spot.  The Cooklie Mom, on the other hand, did not fair so well, falling three spots to land securely in “The Outhouse”, in 21st place!

Five players, Bobby Blue Crush, Cole The Redneck Understudy, A&M Aggie Sue, Edie The Las Vegas Super Star, as well as David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey all moved two (2) positions.  Kilimanjaro Bobby, The Redneck Understudy, Aggie Sue, and The Las Vegas Super Star all moved up two places to rest in 3rd, 5th, 8th, and 13th, respectively.  The Mudslinger, however, dropped two places to sit in 16th place.

The remaining players, Snoopy Dawn, Carlton The Doorman, Zee, aka Sissy, Kathy The Church Forecloser, Dan The Numbers Cruncher, as well as Bernie The Bay Area Bandit all moved one place.  Both The Church Forecloser and The Bay Area Bandit stepped up one spot to sit in 15th and 20th, respectively.  Conversely, Snoopy, The Doorman, Sissy, and The Numbers Dude all slid down one place to sit in 4th, 13th, and 18th, respectively.

 

Straight From The Crapper

 

This week we have a tie between Carole, aka Rudy and Linda The Cookie Mom for the prestigious “Crappiest Pick of The Week” award.  Both ladies proudly wear their microscopic 1 point this week with pride and jubilation!

Additionally, the one point that The Cookie Mom earned this week allowed her to issue an eviction notice Bernie The Bay Area Bandit, and take sole control of “The Outhouse”!

Next week NASCAR makes a trip out the The Valley of The Sun, Phoenix.  (Once again yours truly has media credentials for that weekend!)  There is only one spot left open for the championship four.  That means that there are five drivers desperately trying to secure that last spot, when the green flag waves next Sunday at Phoenix.  If there ever was a time that those five drivers feel like yelling “May Day”, now is the time!

TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVES UP, FLIP YOUR VISOR DOWN, AND LET’S GO RACIN”!

Lots Of Different Ideas For Texas

Jimmie Johnson

This week NASCAR makes its last visit to the Lone Star State.  The fall race in Texas caries a lot more weight and drama in relation to the 2017 championships.

 

Our Texas Selections

 

The choices that our players have this week at the Texas Motor Speedway are almost evenly distributed over six different drivers.  The one exception is Jimmie JohnsonMr Seven-Time has three supporters, Doug The Gandy Candy Man, Snoopy Dawn and Leon Your Most Humble Sheriff, all are hoping that he (Johnson) can punch his ticket to Homestead with a victory at Fort Worth.

There are five drivers this week that have two rooters firmly in their corner.  The first driver, alphabetically, to talk about is Ryan Blaney.  Backing Blaney this week is a the sneaky duo of Jerry The Buschwacker and A&M Aggie Sue.

Carole, aka Rudy and Linda The Cookie Mom are banking heavily upon the ability of Clint Bowyer to engage in the roll of the race spoiler this week.  If Bowyer were to drive his hot rod into Victory Lane at Texas that would throw the race to Homestead into a quagmire and put a few drivers into hospice care!

Riding with driver formally known as “The Outlaw”, Kurt Busch, this week is Jim, aka Chiefy and Cole The Redneck Understudy.

Both Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle and Zee, aka Sissy are riding shotgun with “The Shrub”, aka Kyle Busch.

Lastly, both Edie The Las Vegas Super Star and Jeremy The Coach are betting the farm that “Blazingly Bad” Brad Keselowski can drive his machine into Victory Lane and punch his ticket through to Homestead.

All thirteen of these players are hoping that they can sit atop the list of top scorers this Sunday.  If Johnson, KyBu, “Blazingly Bad” Brad or Blaney win at Texas they will punch their ticket to Homestead.  Additionally, the players who have picked the winner will, most likely, leap frog up on the leaderboard.  If that happens then both groups will be realizing some of “their dreams”!

Just an FYI, we have a large group of independent thinkers, eight players in total.  This may be the largest group of players that are in bidnez for themselves this year!

With just three races left in this segment the leaderboard reflects a few tightly grouped pockets of players that could move and leap frog others on the ol scoring pylon when the checkered flag flies at Homestead.

Good luck to all!

TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVES UP, FLIP YOUR VISOR DOWN, AND LET’S GO RACIN’!

Your Most Humble Sheriff Remains In The Lead

Kyle Busch
It seemed that Denny Hamlin had Sunday’s First Data 500 at Martinsville Speedway won.  That was, after Hamlin lifted up the rear end of Chase Elliott’s car, drop kicked him clear out of the groove, and deposited him into the crash wall!  That kind of reminded me of Kenseth depositing Logano into the retaining wall a few years ago!

When the green flag dropped for the final restart with two laps to go in overtime, Hamlin’s No. 11 Toyota took off seamlessly. But Hamlin’s Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Kyle Busch came up beside him, making contact with the No. 11 to take the lead as the white flag waved and holding on to win at Martinsville while the field wrecked behind him.

The win punched KyBu’s ticket to the championship at Homestead-Miami Speedway and marked the No. 18 driver’s second career win at “The Paperclip.”

 

The Fraternal Order of The Go Fast

 

This week we have five players who were riding shot gun with the eventual race winner, Kyle Busch.  Those five players include Edie The Las Vegas Super Star, Bobby Blue Crush, Carlton The Doorman, ol Skid-Marc, as well as Doug The Gandy Candy Man, and this motley crew racked up a very much needed 58 points for the first race in the Round of 8 at Martinsville!

 

The Movers and Shakers

 

Next on the scoring pylon this week is the duo of Snoopy Dawn and Leon Your Most Humble Sheriff.  Both of these players, Snoopy and The Sheriff, must have been in touch with the deceased psychic, MIss Cleo, this past week to garner some inside race info!  Nevertheless, this duo bagged 53 points added to their 3rd segment totals.

There were four players, Kathy The Church Forecloser, Cole The Redneck Understudy, Zee, aka Sissy, as well as Linda The Cookie Mom who were cheering very loudly for “Mr. Seven-Time”, Jimmie Johnson, all afternoon and received 33 points.

Meanwhile, there is another quartet of players, Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle, Lonna The Quilt Angel, David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey and Dan The Numbers Cruncher, who all grabbed 31 points at Martinsville.  Two of the players, The Highly Opinionate One and The Numbers Dude was supporting the “drop kicker” or “punter”, depending on your point of view, Denny Hamlin.  Both The Quilt Angel and The Throttle Jockey, however, put their marbles in the marble sack of Matt Kenseth.

Rounding out the top five scorers this week is Carole, aka Rudy Rudy who was hanging out with “Sliced Bread”, Joey Logano all weekend and received 29 points.

Of the 21 players in the fantasy league 16 players slid around on the ol totem pole this week.

The biggest mover this week is ol Skid-MarcOl Skidz is moving in the right direction, climbing up five (5) spots to sit in 8th place.

There is gaggle of four players who moved four (4) places after the checkered flag flew at Martinsville.  That foursome includes Bobby Blue Crush, Carlton The Doorman, Jeremy The Coach and A&M Aggie Sue.  Both Blue Crush and The Doorman elevated their position four spots to sit in 4th and 5th places, respectively.  Conversely, The Coach and Aggie Sue plumetted four spots this week to land in 9th and 10th, respectively.

Both Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle and Jim, aka Chiefy slid down the scoring pylon three (3) spots to rest in 11th and 19th, respectively.

A group of four players, Edie The Las Vegas Super Star, Dan The Numbers Cruncher, Linda The Cookie Mom and Jerry The Buschwacker all moved two (2) places this week.  The Las Vegas Super Star, The Numbers Dude and The Cookie Mom elevated their previous position by two places to ride in 15th, 17, and 18th, respectively.  However, The Buschwacker wasn’t nearly as lucky this week.  The Buschwacker dropped two spots sitting now just outside of The Outhouse in 20th place.

Lastly, there is a gang of five players, Snoopy Dawn, Carole, aka Rudy, Lonna The Quilt Angel, Zee, aka Sissy and Kathy The Church Forecloser, who just moved next door to their previous positions this week.  Snoopy was the only positive mover in this group and stepped up to sit now in 3rd place.  But Rudy, The Quilt Angel, Sissy and The Church Forecloser all fell down one spot landing in 4th, 12th, 13th, and 16th, respectively.

 

Straight From The Crapper

 

This week “The Crappiest Pick of The Week” goes to Jim, aka ChiefyChiefy picked a bad week to choose Erik Jones as his man to win the race and could only put 11 points up on the board this week.

Once again our “Princess of The Poophouse” is Bernie The Bay Area Bandit.  Even though she scored 27 points this week, it was not enough to get her out of “The Outhouse”!

Next week NASCAR rolls into the heart of Texas, Fort Worth, for a high speed, high banked race at the Texas Motor Speedway.

Just a side note:  I was quite surprised that there was not more of a heated discussion between Hamlin and Elliott after the race.  I thought, for sure, that Hamlin had gotten on “the fighting side” of Chase!

TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVES UP, FLIP YOUR VISOR DOWN, AND LET’S GO RACIN’!

Could Kyle Busch Smoke Them At Martinsville?

Kyle Busch

This week NASCAR rolls into their last short track race of the 2017 season, Martinsville Speedway.  Even though the short track racing has not sparked any lost tempers, bruised egos, or an excessive amount of crumpled sheet metal so far this season, Martinsville could be the place where all that could change Sunday.  Likewise, I am no too aware of any driver needing to collect a little revenge or extract some retribution, but that really does not mean that there may not be any pay backs coming this weekend.

 

Our Martinsville Choices

 

Nearly one quarter of the fantasy league, five players in total, are jumping on the Kyle Busch bandwagon at Martinsville.  Those five players includes Edie The Las Vegas Super Star, Bobby Blue Crush, Carlton The Doorman, ol Skid-Marc, as well as Doug The Gandy Candy Man.  All five seems to think that this is ol Rowdy’s best chance to punch his ticket through to championships at Homestead.

Meanwhile, Kathy The Church Forecloser, Cole The Redneck Understudy, Zee, aka Sissy and Linda The Cookie Mom are solidly in the corner of Mr. Seven-Time, Jimmie Johnson, at Martinsville.

With A&M Aggie Sue, Jerry The Buschwacker and Jeremy The Coach on his side at Martinsville, Chase Elliott will be trying to notch his first MENCS victory in the HMS No. 24 Chevy.

There are three drivers who have a support group of two players each.  Leading the pack this week is Denny Hamlin who has Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Bell and Dan The Numbers Cruncher onboard with him.

Additionally, Lonna The Quilt Angel and David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey are rooting for Matt Kensenth to notch his first 2017 win, and be a spoiler in the Round of Eight.

Lastly, Snoopy Dawn and Leon Your Most Humble Sheriff are all in with “Blazingly Bad” Brad Keselowski at Martinsville.

As was mentioned in the opening paragraph of this post, the short track racing this year has, so far, been relatively quite and calm.  If I was a betting man I would put my money on a little more driver/crewmember activity/interaction at Martinsville!  With that being said I would surely hope that all crewmembers check their egos and at the weapons at the pit gate Friday and “keep their hands to themelves”!.

Good luck to all!

TIL NEX TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVES UP, FLIP YOUR VISOR DOWN, AND LET’S GO RACIN’!

Your Most Humble Sheriff Continues To Excel And Widens His Lead

Martin Truex, Jr.
Martin Truex Jr. survived a restart penalty and an unscheduled pit stop to return to what has become a thoroughly familiar locale—Victory Lane—in Sunday’s Hollywood Casino 400 at Kansas Speedway.

In a dramatic race that brought Truex his seventh Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series win of the season, calamity eliminated four drivers from the series Playoff. Jamie McMurray, Ricky Stenhouse Jr., Matt Kenseth and Kyle Larson all saw their postseason hopes end with the final event in the Round of 12.

The shocker was Larson, who fell out of the race on Lap 77 when his engine exploded on the frontstretch after dropping a cylinder a few laps earlier. The driver of the No. 42 Chip Ganassi Racing Chevrolet finished 39th in a 40-car field and dropped to ninth in the standings, nine points behind Jimmie Johnson.

The seven-time champion moved into the Round of 8 despite spinning twice in the space of five laps late in the race. But Johnson was the prime beneficiary when NASCAR parked Kenseth, after a massive wreck on Lap 198, for a violation of the damaged vehicle policy, specifically having too many crewmen over the wall to work on the car on pit road.

 

The Fraternal Order of The Go Fast

 

Nobody was riding shotgun this week with the hottest driver in Cup, Martin Truex, Jr., so this award goes back into the vault this week!

 

The Movers and Shakers

 

The highest scorers this week comes from the duo of David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey and Jeremy The Coach.  Both of these players put all their marbles into the marble sack of Denny Hamlin at Kansas.  Fortunately for these two, “The Delivernator” ended his day in 5th place a rewarded them with 50 points.

Following that motley duo on the scoreboard was Zee, aka Sissy, who racked up a nifty 47 points.  Sissy was the only player to ride along with “Freaky Fast” Kevin Harvick at Kansas.

But neither Snoopy Dawn nor Doug The Gandy Candy Man was on “the down low” this week.  Both players were quite fortuitous in their choice at Kansas, Ryan Blaney.  Blaney ran with the big dogs all afternoon and rallied to a 3rd place finish that gave The Candy Man and Snoopy 44 points.

Meanwhile the trio of A&M Aggie Sue, Cole The Redneck Understudy, as well as Leon Your Most Humble Sheriff were rallying behind “ol Rowdy”, aka Kyle Busch this week.  Ol Rowdy ran in the top ten most all of the race and, in fact, finished in 10th as the checkered flag flew, which gave this trio 43 points each.

Rounding out the top five scorers this week is Bobby Blue Crush and Carole, aka Rudy.  Both Blue Crush and Rudy were rooting on the driver formally known as “The Outlaw”, now know by his given name, Kurt BuschKuBu was sinffing the tail pipes of the race leader, Martin Truex, Jr. added a second place finish to his season finishes, and 35 points to the totals of this duo.

It is highly unusual that this late into the segment that there is so much movement.  But on closer examination of the scores, there is a larger group of players that have similar totals for the segment!  This week nineteen of the twenty one players swapped places!

Leading the way for the “movers” this week is Carlton The DoormanThe Doorman had a disappointing afternnon at Kansas only logging 10 points.  Those 10 points scored plummeted him five (5) spots to land in 10th place.

Next on the “moving list” is a the duo of Lonna The Quilt Angel and Edie The Las Vegas Super Star.   Both of these ladies tumbled four (4) places and settled in to 11th and 17th, respectively.

The next group of movers is a whole gaggle, 8 players in total.  This group of players includes Snoopy Dawn, A&M Aggie Sue, Cole The Redneck Understudy, Kilimanjaro Bobby, Zee, aka Sissy, David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey, Kathy The Church Forecloser, as well as Linda The Cookie Mom.  As you can see this group is almost is half of the fantasy league!  Snoopy, Aggie Sue, The Redneck Understudy, Bobby Blue Crush, Sissy, The Mudslinger and The Church Forecloser all tippy toed up two (2) spots to rest in 4th, 6th, 7th, 9th, 12th, 14th and 15th, respectively.  Unfortunately, Linda The Cookie Mom fell two places to rest just outside of “The Outhouse”, in 20th place.

There is another group that numbers six players, Doug The Gandy Candy Man, Carole, aka Rudy, ol Skid-Marc, Jim, aka Chiefy, Jerry The Buschwacker, as well as Dan The Numbers Cruncher, who all moved just one spot as the Victory Lane celebration was occuring.  The Gandy Candy Dude, The Buschwacker and The Numbers Dude all stepped up one place to end the day in 2nd, 18, and 19th, respectively.

Both the leader on the soring pylon, Leon Your Most Humble Sheriff and “The Princess of The Poophouse”, Bernie The Bay Area Bandit. are the only players who remained in their previous places!

 

Straight From The Crapper

 

This week “The Crappiest PIck of The Week” is awarded to Edie The Las Vegas Super Star for her myopic 1 point she received from Daniel Suarez’ 36th place finish.

Once again The Bay Area Bandit remains firmly entrenched in “The Outhouse“!  She has a very comfortable 26 point cushion over her closest rival, Linda The Cookie Mom.

As the sunset in the heartland of America there were four drivers who will not be moving on to the Round of Eight.  Their dreams of being the 2017 MENCS champion has been dashed and their hearts are broken.  They may all resemble “The Tin Man” as they follow “The Yellow Brick Road” and leave Kansas!

Next week NASCAR heads up to Virgina for some short track beating and banging at Martinsville.

TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVES UP, FLIP YOUR VISOR DOWN, AND LET’S GO RACIN”!

Mass Confusion At Kansas?

Brad Keselowski

This week NASCAR rolls into the heartland of the country and will bring the racing excitement to the Kansas Speedway with the Hollywood Casino 400.  It is interesting to see that there really wasn’t a driver that grabbed an overwhelming majority.  Instead, we have a small number of players clinging to a few drivers at Kansas.

Many of you will be reading this post as I head back home to Yuma,AZ from a family reunion this past weekend in Clearlake, CA.  I will be leading the way back home on this 500 mile jaunt with ol Chiefy in tow!

Our Kansas Selections

 

Our Kansas choices seems to appear to be smattered all over the board.  To start off with we have two drivers with a rooting section of three players.

Kathy The Church Forecloser, Jerry The Buschwacker, as well as Dan The Numbers Cruncher are hoping that “Blazingly Bad” Brad Keselowski can go back-to-back and drive his Miller Lite Ford into Victory Lane at Kansas.

Similarly, A&M Aggie Sue, Cole The Redneck Understudy and Leon Your Most Humble Sheriff are banding together, crossing their fingers, and holding their collectively breath in anticipation that Kyle Busch will take the checkered flag.

On a lesser scale we have five separate drivers that have garnered the attention of two players each at Kansas.

Snoopy Dawn and Doug The Gandy Candy Man have moved over a little deeper into the risk pool this week and selected Ryan Blaney as their choice to take all the driver who will hoist the hardware in Victory Lane.

Likewise, Jim, aka Chiefy, and Lonna The Quilt Angel have really gone into the deep end of the risk pool and selected “The Kansas Homie”, Clint Bowyer, as their man for Kansas.

Meanwhile, David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey and Jeremy The Coach have teamed up to support “The Delivernator”, Denny Hamlin this week.

Carlton The Doorman and Bernie The Bay Area Bandit must have some positive vibes Matt Kenseth this week.  No doubt they must have received some ESP telepathic communiques from that team!

Rounding out the group choices this week is the duo of Kilimanjaro Bobby and Carole, aka Rudy who are staunchly backing the driver formally known as “The Outlaw”, Kurt Busch, this week at Kansas.

Since this is the elimination race for the Round of 12 and the race for “The Outhouse” is getting tighter and tighter, many of the drivers and many of our players are “living on a prayer”!

Good luck to all this week!

TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVES UP, FLIP YOUR VISOR DOWN, AND LET’S GO RACIN’!

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