Both Johnson And Truex Are Favored At Charlotte This Weekend

Jimmie Johnson

As we celebrate the beginning of summer, the Memorial Day weekend, it also signals a couple of more things.  This race is also the last race in the first segment of our fantasy league, as well as a weekend of remembrance of those who lost their lives protecting our freedom.

 

Our Charlotte Picks

 

In this final week of the first segment we have two drivers that have a rooting section of four players.  Mr. Seven-Time, Jimmie Johnson, has the support of Lonna The Quilt Angel, Bobby Blue Crush, Jerry The Buschwacker, as well as Jim, aka Chiefy are hoping that Johnson can deliver one more victory for this quartet to finish off the first segment.

Likewise, Bernie The Bay Area Bandit, Doug The Gandy Candy Man, Carole, aka Rudy and Leon Your Most Humble Sheriff are betting the farm that Martin Truex, Jr. can repeat history from last year’s race with one very important exception, he drives his hot rod into Victory Lane!

There are three drivers that have a pair of cheerleaders backing them.  Alphabetically, the first driver to discuss is Chase Elliott.  Both Carlton The Doorman and Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle have a vested interest in Elliott’s results at Charlotte.

Both A&M Aggie Sue and Cole The Redneck Understudy feel that “Young Money”, Kyle Larson, will grab his second victory of the season.

Lastly, Edie The Las Vegas Super Star and Zee, aka Sissy, are pulling for “Slice Bread”, Joey Logano, to be celebrating in Victory Lane when the checkered flag flies on NASCAR’s longest race of the year.

This week one third, seven players, were independent thinkers and as thus will be in bidnez for themselves!

Good luck to all this weekend.

As you watch the Indy 500 and/or the Coca Cola 600, or while you are having a family outing to celebrate this weekend, in the back of your mind be aware that this is the one weekend out of 52 that we take time to remember and honor our fallen comrades, our brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers, husbands, wives, aunts and uncles.  Our fallen heroes paid the ultimate price and were only given a one way ticket when they enlisted in the military.

Say a prayer for peace!

TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVES UP, FLIP YOUR VISOR DOWN, AND LET’S GO RACIN’!

Your Most Humble Sheriff Maintains A Slim Lead With One To Go

Martin Truex, Jr.

Martin Truex, Jr. ran down Ryan Newman and with the help of several restarts Truex notched the victory.

 

The Fraternal Order of the Go Fast

The award this week goes to our resident accountant, Dan the Numbers Cruncher.  The Numbers Dude racked up a magnificent 57 points with the race winner, Martin Truex, Jr!

The Movers and Shakers

 

Next on the scoring pylon is a motley trio consisting of Lonna the Quilt Angel, Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle, as well as our resident dirt tracker, David The Mud Slinging Throttle Jockey.  All three of these players accumulated 47 points from the 6th place finish of “Young Money”, Kyle Larson.

Our resident concierge, Carlton The Doorman, fared very well at Kansas adding 41 points to his first segment tally when “Blazingly Bad” Brad Keselowski was the second cr to take the checkered flag.

The Mother and son tandem of Zee, aka Sissy and Skid-Marc were cheering very loudly for “The Closer”, Kevin Harvick.  Each received 38 points when the checkered flag flew at Kansas.

Rounding out the top five scorers are a gaggle of seven players!  Included in that huge group are Cole The Redneck Understudy, Jeremy The Coach, Jerry The Buschwacker, Linda The Cookie Mom, Snoopy Dawn, Bobby Blue Crush and lastly Leon Your Most Humble Sheriff.  Even though all seven players were awarded 28 points, that score came to these players via three different drivers.  The Redneck Understudy, The Cookie Mom and Blue Crush received their points from Clint Bowyer’s 9th place finish.  Snoopy Dawn’s points came via Kasey Kahne’s 15th place finish.  While The Buschwacker, The Coach and Your Most Humble Sheriff all were riding shotgun with Matt Kenseth.

This week two thirds, 14 players, exchanged places with each other on the leaderboard.  Only Your Most Humble Sheriff, The Cookie Mom, Skid-Marc, The Buschwacker, Sissy, Rudy, The Church Forecloser and The Gandy Candy Man remained in their previous positions after Kansas.

The biggest movers this week were David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey and Bernie The Bay Area Bandit.  The Mudslinger catapulted up the scoring pylon four (4) places to land in 11th place.  The Bay Area Bandit slithered down the leaderboard four (4) places to sit now in 18th spot.

Dan the Numbers Dude climbed a little further away from the bottom of the barrel by moving up three (3) places to rest in 15th.

There is a trio of players who shifted two spots Saturday night.  The Quilt Angel continued her march up towards the top by moving up two (2) positions to sit in 8th place.  Conversely A&M Aggie Sue and Chiefy slid down two (2) steps to sit now in 5th and 10th places, respectively.

The remaining seven players either moved up or down one spot this week.

Looking at the leaderboard, with just one race left on this segment, shows that there are still some races within the race to garner some of the BIG segment money! Likewise, there is still a battle brewing within the scoring pylon for many positions!

 

Straight From The Crapper

 

The “Crappiest Pick of The Week” goes to Carole, aka Rudy who accumulated just one (1) point for Kansas!  Additionally our man Doug The Gandy Candy Man remains entrenched in “The Outhouse” once again this week.

Next week is the All-Star race, which is basically a week off before the big Coca Cola 600 on Memorial Day Weekend.

Happy Mother’s Day to all you mothers out there!

On a personal note, I don’t think that I have won a segment, at least not in recent memory.  With just one race to go I may be the segment #1 winner, if I don’t crash and burn!  It looks like I could be “working on a dream”!

TIL NEXT TIME,PULL YOUR GLOVES UP, FLIP YOR VISOR DOWN, AND LET’S GO RACIN’!

Bowyer, Larson and Kenseth Have The Votes Of Many

Clint Bowyer

This week NASCAR rolls into the Midwest, Kansas in particular, for a Friday and Saturday night show.  This is the first scheduled night race of 2017.

 

Our Kansas Choices

 

As I alluded to in the title of this post, there are three drivers that share a pool of supporters that number three each for Kansas.

First on the list of those three drivers, alphabetically, is Clint Bowyer.  Rooting for Bowyer this week are Bobby Blue Crush, Cole The Redneck Understudy, as well as Linda The Cookie Mom. All three players have obviously seen the improvement in Bowyer’s performance since climbing into the cockpit of the Stewart-Haas Racing No. 14 Ford this year and are hoping that Bowyer can drive his hot rod into Victory Lane Saturday night.

The players that are putting it all on the line for Matt Kenseth this week includes Jerry The Buschwacker, Jeremy The Coach and the illustrious Leon The Retired Airline Captain, Former Strawberry Picker, Part-Time Cardiologist and Elephant Driver, as well as Your Most Humble Sheriff.  All three players are thinking that this is the race that Kenseth will emerge from a really average start to his 2017 season.

Meanwhile, a trio that is made up of Lonna The Quilt Angel, David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey and Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle think that “Young Money”, aka Kyle Larson will notch another victory on his Cup resume.

Additionally, there are three drivers that have two players each on their side at Kansas.

Leading off this group of drivers is Kurt Busch.  On the list of Busch’s supporters this week are Edie The Las Vegas Super Star and Kathy The Church Forecloser.

A&M Aggie Sue and Jim, aka Chiefy are banding together rooting for “Awesome Bill From Dawsonville’s” son, Chase Elliott.

Lastly, the list of players that are wearing their Kevin Harvick T-Shirts this weekend while they are glued to their TV sets Saturday night number Skid-Marc and Zee, aka Sissy.

Now our weekly math problems are as follows:

3+3+3+2+2+2=15  

That is the number of players who have banded together for six drivers.

The second math problem is somewhat more elementary.

 21-15=6

Six is the number of independent thinkers this week that are most definitely in bidnez for  themselves!

Good luck to all at Kansas.

Let’s all go to Kansas City, Kansas City here we come!

TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVES UP, FLIP YOUR VISOR DOWN, AND LET’S GO RACIN’!

When The Carnage Was Removed From Talladega The Sheriff Is Still On Top

Ricky Stenhouse, Jr.

Ricky Stenhouse Jr. started from the pole, avoided the “Big One” and captured his first Monster Energy Series NASCAR Cup race Sunday in the GEICO 500 at Talladega Superspeedway.The 29-year-old Stenhouse won for the first time in 158 career races at the premier level by bolting his No. 17 Roush Fenway Racing Ford past Kyle Busch on a NASCAR overtime restart.

In the race’s “Big One”, AJ Allmendinger turned Chase Elliott’s No. 24 Chevrolet from behind as the two were battling for second place. Elliott’s car turned on its side and Allmendinger’s No. 47 Chevrolet flipped upside down.  The red flag came out allowing track officials to turn The Dinger’s car back over and on its wheels and then extricate him. He walked from the car and was treated and released from the infield care center.

 

The Fraternal Order of The Go Fast

 

As we all know Talladega is like rolling dice at a casino.  Forest Gump might put it in another way equivacating Talladega to a box of chocolates!  Nevertheless, I think that you get the picture.  Having said all that, no player selected Ricky Stenhouse, Jr. to win Talladega this week and therefore this award goes vacant.

 

The Movers and Shakers

 

There were two players who banked the most points this week, Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle and Edie The Las Vegas Super Star.  Both ladies were riding shotgun with “The Delivernator”, Denny Hamlin.at Talladega and racked up 36 nifty points.

There is a quintet of players that also did very well this week.  These five players scored 35 points via three different drivers.  David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey was rooting for one of his midget and sprint car veterans, Kasey Kahne.  Carlton The Doorman received his points from “Mr. Seven-Time”, Jimmie Johnson.  Addtionally, Linda The Cookie Mom, Snoopy Dawn and Leon Your Most Humble Sheriff were hanging it out for Busch the elder, Kurt, formally known as “The Outlaw”.

Carole, aka Rudy, was all in with Clint Bowyer this week and was rewarded with 23 points.

Jerry The Buschwacker scored decently this week gathering up 16 points delivered to him by Martin Truex, Jr.

Lastly there is a gaggle of players, six in total, that round out the top scorers this week.  This group includes Lonna The Quilt Angel, Doug The Gandy Candy Man, A&M Aggie Sue, Jim, aka Chiefy, Bernie The Bay Area Bandit and Jeremy The Coach all had an excellent choice this week, “The Piep Piper of Plate Racing”, Dale Earnhardt, Jr.  Each of these players garnered just 15 points from Junior.

Once again the leaderboard shook like an earthquake this week.  Although there wasn’t huge individual movement, there was wide scale shifing of positions throughout the totem pole.  There were only five players who remained in their previous positions after the checkered flag flew at Talladega.

The largest mover this week is Snoopy Dawn.  Snoopy leap-frogged up four (4) positions to now reside in 12th place.

A group of seven players, Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle, Edie The Las Vegas Super Star, Bobby Blue Crush, Jim, aka Chiefy, Cole The Redneck Understudy, David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey and Jerry The Buschwacker all moved three (3) places.  The Highly Opinionated One, The Las Vegas Super Star, The Redneck Understudy, as well as The Mudslinger all climbed up the leaderboard three (3) spots to sit now in 5th, 6th, 11th and 15th, respectively.  Conversely Bobby Blue Crush, Chiefy and The Buschwacker all fell three (3) spots resting in 7th, 8th and 16th, respectively.

There were five players, Carlton The Doorman, Skid-Marc, Jeremy The Coach, Bernie The Bay Area Bandit and Zee, aka Sissy moved two (2) spots.  The Doorman stepped up two positions to sit in 4th place this week.  On the other hand Skidz, The Coach, The Bay Area Bandit and Sissy all fell two (2) places to sit now in 9th,13,th, 14th and 17th place, respectively.

Rounding out the top five movers are Linda The Cookie Mom, A&M Aggie Sue and Dan The Numbers Cruncher.  The Cookie Mom is the only one to move up, sitting now in 2nd place. A&M Aggie Sue and The Numbers Dude slid one spot to sit in 3rd and 18th spots.

 

Straight From The Crapper

 

This week “The Crappiest Pick of The Week” goes to Zee, aka Sissy.  Sissy could only muster up one (1) microscopic point this week.  A single digit score will almost always guarantee you this award.

Once again The Gandy Candy Man is comfortably hanging out in his usual spot, “The Outhouse”!  The Candy Man has widened his margin to 22 points this week.  With just two race left in this segment, it may be safe to put all your money on The Candy Man securing this award outright for the segment!

The GEICO 500 was really a cool calm race until lap 168 of 188 scheduled laps. It seems that Chase Elliott could have been singing the Steeler’s Wheel song as he was turned into the fence, got airborne and landed on Joey Logano’s hood.

“Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you
Yes, I’m stuck in the middle with you,
And I’m wondering what it is I should do”

This week we have our first schedule Saturday night race when NASCAR moves to the Kansas Speedway, which is just southwest of the Kansas City airport about 5 or 6 miles.

Good luck to all.

TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVES UP, FLIP YOUR VISOR DOWN, AND LET’S GO RACIN’!

Could Dale Jr. Hoist The Hardware At Talladega?

Dale Earnhardt, Jr.

With this being the final year, the swan song, for the 14 time winner of the NASCAR most popular driver award, Dale Earnhardt, Jr. who cool would it be for him to lead the field to the checkered flag?  Well, a majority of The Redneck Fantasy League is either very smart or feeling quite nostalgic this week!

 

Our Talladega Selections

 

Nearly one third of the fantasy league, six players, are applying for a temporary visa, a green card, and application into Junior Nation this week.  Those players who are wanting to jump onboard of the Junior Nation train bound for Talladega this week include Lonna The Quilt Angel, Doug The Gandy Candy Man, A&M Aggie Sue, Jim, aka Chiefy, Bernie The Bay Area Bandit, as well as Jeremy The Coach.  

There are three drivers with a rooting section of three players each this week.

The first of those three drivers is the young gun William Clyde Elliott, Jr., aka Chase.  Those players who are 100% behind Chase include Skid-Marc, Kathy The Church Forecloser and Dan The Numbers Cruncher.

Meanwhile, Cole The Redneck Understudy, Edie The Las Vegas Super Star and Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle are hoping that “The Delivernator”, Denny Hamlin, can deliver a win to them at Talladega.

Lastly, Linda The Cookie Mom, Snoopy Dawn and Leon Your Most Humble Sheriff have put all their chips on black.  That black would be the black No.41 Ford of Kurt Busch!

As usual there are a segment of players that have gone rogue this week, six to be exact.  Those six players are our independent thinkers that are most definitely in bidnez for themselves.

Good luck to all at Talladega this week.

“Here’s to turning up, slowing down, and to cars going real fast” at Talladega!

TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVES UP, FLIP YOUR VISOR DWON, AND LET’S GO RACIN’!

The Sheriff Maintains A Slim Lead After Richmond

Joey Logano & Ryan Blaney

It took Joey Logano all afternoon to drive from the back of the field to the front in Sunday’s Toyota Owners 400 at Richmond International Raceway.

Logano started from the rear after a post-qualifying transmission change, but when the checkered flag waved after Lap 400, the driver of the No. 22 Team Penske Ford was at the head of the field, having held off a banzai charge from teammate Brad Keselowski during a 19-lap green-flag run.

Logano took the lead for the first time on Lap 384, after restarting behind six cars that had stayed out on old tires under caution for Ryan Blaney’s contact with the Turn 3 wall on Lap 377. On fresh rubber, Logano made short work of the cars in front of him and passed series leader Kyle Larson for the top spot with 16 circuits left.

 

The Fraternal Order of The Go Fast

 

This week there is a trio of winners!  The three lucky players include Bernie The Bay Area Bandit, Jerry The Buschwacker, as well as Cole The Redneck Understudy all were riding shotgun with “Sliced Bread”, aka Joey Logano.

 

The Movers and Shakers

 

Once again, with the new stage points system that NASCAR instituted this year, the race winner does not necessarily score the most points.  The highest scoring players at Richmond comes from “the sisterhood”!  Both ladies, Zee, aka Sissy and A&M Aggie Sue was rooting for “Blazingly Bad” Brad Keselowski and with his stage and race points added together made these two ladies the highest scorers, gathering up 50 big points!

Up next is a motley quartet that consists of Jim, aka Chiefy, Lonna The Quilt Angel, Bobby Blue Crush, as well as Leon Your Most Humble Sheriff who were riding high and not afraid to die with Denny Hamlin.  “The Delivernator” handed them a nice 47 points Sunday.

As was mentioned above, The Bay Area Bandit, The Buschwacker, and The Redneck Understudy were riding shotgun with the race winner, Joey Logano at Richmond.  This unlikely trio pocketed 42 points this week.  It quite interesting that the players who selected the race winner became the third highest scorers of the weekend!

Next on the list of high scorers is a threesome consisting of Carlton The Doorman, Snoopy Dawn and Linda The Cookie Mom.  This trio had put all their marbles in the sack of “Young Money”, Kyle Larson, and added 38 points to their 1st segment totals.

Rounding out the to five point getters this week is Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle.  The Opinionated One rolled the dice this week and was all in with Martin Truex, Jr. and getting paid back 35 points.

In week number nine there were seven players who were able to remain in their previous places when the checkered flag flew at Richmond.  Doing basic math in public, that means that fourteen players are now sitting in a different place on the scoring pylon.  Although there were not huge scale movements, there was lots of small slipping and sliding on the totem pole.

The largest mover in race number nine of segment number one is Edie The Las Vegas Super Star who slipped, stumbled and fell five (5) places and landed in 9th place.

Zee, aka Sissy, conversely climbed up three (3) spots to sit in 15th place.

The third biggest movers for the week are Jim, aka Chiefy and Snoopy Dawn.  Chiefy stepped up two (2) spots to rest in 5th position.  Meanwhile Snoopy dropped down to 16th place this week.

Nearly one half of the players, ten in total moved up or down one position.  Bobby Blue Crush, Skid-Marc, Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle, Lonna The Quilt Angel, Cole The Redneck Understudy and Carole, aka Rudy all moved up one place.

Whereas Jeremy The Coach, Bernie The Bay Area Bandit, Jerry The Buschwacker, Dan The Numbers Cruncher, as well as Kathy The Church Forecloser all slid down one place.

 

Straight From The Crapper

 

The Crappiest Pick of The Week award goes this week to Jeremy The Coach for his mediocre 13 points!

Once again the Outhouse Award goes to Doug The Gandy Candy Man who still has 20 point buffer over his closest competitor, Kathy The Church Forecloser. With just three races left in this segment The Candy Man may be the 1st Segment Outhouse Award winner!

Next week NASCAR makes a pass back into the deep South to Talladega Superspeedway.

On a person note, I would be remiss as a charter member of JUNIOR NATION not to make a comment about the biggest news of the week, the retirement of Dale Earnhardt, Jr.  I became a Dale Jr. fan when I saw how he handled the death of his father, the way he handled the huge national media spotlight thrust upon him, the way that he handled all the big expectations that was put upon him, and the humility that he showed throughout all of his racing career.

For me, I am somewhat sad that he has elected to retire from the Cup Series.  However, he is stepping away under his terms.  There are not many athletes get that opportunity!

Wasn’t it just a couple of years ago that this wild young kid of Dale Earnhardt hit the scene and won the Busch Series championship back-to-back?  No, I guess it was longer ago than I remember.  I guess we all get older before we know it!

Damn those mirrors!

This week I am just feeling a little “watered down”!

TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVES UP, FLIP YOUR VISOR DOWN, AND LET’S GO RACIN’!

Can Denny Hamlin Be Victorious At Richmond?

Denny Hamlin

“Well it’s a long way to Richmond rolling north on 95″!

But that is exactly what the NASCAR Circus will be doing this week in preparation for the Toyota Owner’s 400 at Richmond International Raceway.  This is the last race of the spring short track swing.  This 3/4 mile short track races like a superspeedway, in that it is less than a mile in length bui it is high speed in nature!

 

Our Richmond Choices

 

This week we have 1/4 of The Redneck Fantasy League, four players in total, riding in the cockpit with Denny Hamlin, crowded as that may be!  Those four players include Lonna The Quilt Angel, Jim, aka Chiefy, Bobby Blue Crush, as well as Leon your Most Humble Sheriff.

There are three drivers that have a rooting section of three players this week.  “Young Money”, Kyle Larson, has the confidence of Carlton The Doorman, his better half Snoopy Dawn, as well as Linda The Cookie Mom.

Rolling the bones for Matt Kenseth this week includes Skid-Marc, Dan The Numbers Cruncher and our resident dirt tracker, David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey.

Jerry The Buschwacker, Bernie The Bay Area Bandit and Cole The Redneck Understudy are banking that “Sliced Bread”, aka Joey Logano, can get it done for them at Richmond.

Lastly, there are two drivers with two players in their cheering section at Richmond.  Kathy The Church Forecloser and Doug The Gandy Candy Man are hanging their hat on Austin Dillon this week.

Meanwhile, “Blazingly Bad” Brad Keselowski has Zee, aka Sissy and A&M Aggie Sue in his hip pocket for The Toyota Owner’s 400.

This leaves 5 players that are in bidnez for themselves this week.

Good luck to all at Richmond!

TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVES UP, FLIP YOUR VISOR DWON, AND LET’ GO RACIN’!

Your Most Humble Sheriff Sits Atop Of The Leaderboard!

Jimmie Johnson

Jimmie Johnson surged to victory in the rain-delayed Food City 500 on Monday at Bristol Motor Speedway.

Johnson powered the Hendrick Motorsports No. 48 Chevrolet to his second straight Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series victory of the season, leading 81 of the 500 laps. His 82nd win of his career was his second on the .533-mile Tennessee track.

Clint Bowyer took second place in the Stewart-Haas Racing No. 14 Ford, 1.199 seconds behind the race winner. Kevin Harvick, Matt Kenseth and Joey Logano completed the top five.

Pole-starter Kyle Larson, and a very dominate car, seemed poised for a top-five finish after leading the opening 202 laps including a Stage 1 win, but a pit-road speeding penalty on Lap 423 knocked him back to 17th in the running order. He rallied to a sixth-place finish and maintained his lead in the series standings.

 

The Fraternal Order of The Go Fast

 

Unfortunately not a single fantasy league player selected Jimmie Johnson this week.  So this award goes vacant this week.

 

The Movers and Shakers

 

We have a new sheriff in The Redneck Fantasy League town!  It is none other than Leon Your Most Humble Sheriff, who sits atop of the leaderboard this week.  I just thought that I would blow my own horn really big and very loudly this week, since I rarely have been to the top of the mountain!

This week the highest scoring players, Bernie The Bay Area Bandit, Jim, aka Chiefy, Skid-Marc, as well as Leon Your Most Humble Sheriff were all stuffed into the cockpit of Kyle Larson’s hot rod today!  All four players were tickled to death to gather up a nifty 45 points for all the hard work that “Young Money” did at the rain delayed Food City 500 at Bristol.

Killimanjaro Bobby racked up a cool 41 points from “Freaky Fast” Kevin Harvick.  Once again Harvick emerged in the very latter stages of the race, quite literally from nowhere, to slip into third place when the checkered flag flew!

A quartet, Cole The Redneck Understudy, Jeremy The Coach, Edie The Las Vegas Super Star, as well as Zee, aka Sissy received a pleasing 35 points. The Redneck Understudy, The Vegas Super Star and Sissy gathered their points from Chase Elliott’s 7th place finish.  But The Coach was supporting Clint Bowyer today..

Meanwhile, Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle, Doug The Gandy Candy Man and A&M Aggie Sue were all rooting for Matt Kenseth, reaping 33 points that is added their first segment totals.

Rounding out the top five scorers this week is Linda The Cookie Mom who boldly selected Ryan Newman and that gave her 23 points added on to her segment numbers.

This week there was, once again, wide spread movement within the fantasy league.  In fact, the only players who remained in their previous spots were Jerry The Buschwacker and Doug The Gandy Candy Man.

The biggest mover this week is Bernie The Bay Area Bandit rocketing up the scoring pylon seven (7) places to land in 12th place.

Lonna The Quilt Angel was not that lucky this week.  The Quilt Angel dropped like a bad habit, tumbling five (5) spots to fall to 11th place.

Similarly, Carlton The Doorman slid down in the standings four (4) places to rest in 6th place this week.

This next gagle consists of a huge group of players.  There are, count them, nine players who have moved three (3) spots.  Cole The Redneck Understudy, Skid-Marc, Jim, aka Chiefy, Bobby Blue Crush, and Leon Your Most Humble Sheriff all stepped up three (3) places now residing in 15th, 8th, 7th, 5th and 1st, respectively.  However, Carole, aka Rudy, Kathy The Church Forecloser and David the Mudslinging Throttle Jockey all plummeted three (3) places to sit now in a tie for 18th (Rudy and The Forecloser) and 17th, respectively.

Bringing up the tail end of the biggest movers is a trio of ladies, Linda The Cookie Mom, Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle and Snoopy Dawn.  All three ladies slid down the totem pole two (2) spots this week.

 

Straight From The Crapper

 

As I have often repeated, when you only score a single digit for the week, the chances are that you will be awarded “The Crappiest Pick of The Week” award. Well, Snoopy Dawn did just that!  She scored just one (1) point and single-handedly won this award this week!

Once again this week we have our favorite vendor, Doug The Gandy Candy Man, in firm control of “The Outhouse”!  I would like to report that The Gandy Candy Man has a 20 point pad on his nearest competitor, so it looks like he may be there for sometime!

Next week NASCAR rolls into the final short track race int this part of the schedule.  The next track is in Virginia and built on the grounds of the Henrico County Fairgrounds, Richmond International Raceway.

So far at the short tracks the drivers and the crewmembers have been able to keep their emotions in check.  Will that continue to happen, or will we see them deciding that they “won’t back down, won’t be turned around?

TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVES UP, FLIP YOUR VISOR DOWN, AND LET’S GO RACIN’!

Could Larson Log Another Victory This Weekend At Bristol?

Kyle Larson

After a much needed week off from the rigors of the race track, NASCAR heads North from Charlotte to the “Tri-Ciies” area of Tennessee, which includes Bristol, Johnson City and Kingsport.  We are half way through the “short tack swing”, with only Richmond next week left in this sector of racing.  So far the tempers have been kept surprisingly in check, egos have not been too bruised and all weapons have been checked at the pit gate prior to each race!  I am not sure that the drivers can continue to play nice with each other.  Therefore, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised to see the hostilities erupt this week at Bristol and/or next week at Richmond.  I’m just saying!!!

Our Richmond Picks

 

It looks like the realities of 2017 is finally reflected in this week’s Redneck Fantasy League picks.  One fifth of the fantasy league, four players in total, have jumped on the  “Young Money” bandwagon!  Bernie The Bay Area Bandit, Skid-Marc, Jim, aka Chiefy, as well as Leon your Most Humble Sheriff are backing the MENCS points leader, Kyle Larson, this week at “The Last Great Colosseum”, aka Bristol.

There are two drivers that have a cheering squad of three players each.  The first of those two drivers, Matt Kenseth, has Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle, Doug The Gandy Candy Man and A&M Aggie Sue are putting all their fortunes on the JGR No 20 Toyota this week.

Additionally Zee, aka Sissy, Edie The Las Vegas Super Star and Cole The Redneck Understudy are hoping that Chase Elliott will finally get the monkey off of his back and drive his NAPA Chevy into Victory Lane Sunday evening.

Lastly there are three drivers, this week, that have a rooting section of two players each.  Lonna The Quilt Angel and Kathy The Church Forecloser are pounding down the M&M’s and aggressively rooting for Kyle Busch to bring home the trophy.

Rooting for the elder Busch brother, Kurt, formally know as “The Outlaw” are Dan The Numbers Cruncher and “Recent Birthday Boy”, Carlton The Doorman!

Rounding out the rooting section this week is David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey and Jerry The Buschwacker, who are betting the farm that “Blazingly Bad” Brad Keselowski can grab his third victory of the year.

Good luck to all!

As I alluded in the opening paragraph of this post, it would not surprise me at all to see somebody walking on “the fighting side of another driver” when the checkered flag flies!  But you just never know I could be totally wrong!  We could go through this short track swing without hostilities erupting and see “peace in our time”!

TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVES UP, FLIP YOUR VISOR DOWN, AND LET’S GO RACIN’!

Linda The Cookie Mom Climbs To The Top Of The Leaderboard

Jimmie Johnson & David Ragan

The King of the mile and a half tracks just logged another victory on that length of track.  This was Jimmie Johnson’s 7th win at the Texas Motor Speedway and his 81st career NASCAR victory.  Mr. Seven-Time has just punched his ticket to the NASCAR playoffs!

Johnson surged to victory after starting at the rear of the field for the O’Reilly Auto Parts 500, christening Texas Motor Speedway’s new track surface with a win on the newly repaved and reconfigured race track.

Johnson led just 18 of the race’s 334 laps in the Hendrick Motorsports No. 48 Chevrolet, finishing 0.340 seconds ahead of runner-up Kyle Larson.  He started as “Tail Gun Charlie” at the rear of the field after a spin in Coors Light Pole Qualifying, which required the team to change tires before the green flag.

 

The Fraternal Order of The Go Fast

 

This week we have a trio of recipients, Jeremy The Coach, Edie The Las Vegas Super Star, and a back-to-back recipient, Karen The Extremely Opinionated Southern Belle!  All three players were buckled in tight and riding shotgun with “The King of The Half Mile Tracks”, ol J.J.!  Having Johnson this week was good for 49 big points for this motley crew.

 

The Movers and Shakers

 

Having a really big bounce back from last week’s disasterous 1 point race, . scored big this week!  Sissy probably feels like she hit the Lottery with “Young Money”, Kyle Larson rewarding her with 47 points at Texas.

Three players, Lonna The Quilt Angel, Linda The Cookie Mom and David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey were feeling good after “Freaky Fast” Kevin Harvick powered his way to the lead pack very late in the race and delivered 44 points to his supporters.

Meanwhile ol Skid-Marc had another very good race.  Skidz was hanging out with “Blazingly Bad” Brad Keselowski.  “Bad Brad” tossed him a bone to the tune of 40 points at Texas.

Rounding out the top five scorers this week is Snoopy Dawn.  Snoopy was really hoping that Martin Truex, Jr. could hold off the field when he took the lead around the 2/3 point of the race.  That wasn’t in the cards for Truex, but he still handed over 39 points to The Sneaky One!

The biggest movers of the week are a pair of divergently dissimilar players, Bobby Blue Crush and Kathy The Church Forecloser.  Both players plummeted in the standings like burned out meteor, dropping seven (7) places to land in 8th and 16th, respectively.

Conversely, both Jeremy The Coach and David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey soared up five (5) positions to now reside in a tie for 8th and 14th, respectively.

Again another duo that  ping ponged around the scoring pylon this week.  Karen the Highly Opinionated Southern Belle, as was reported above, is a back-to-back Go Fast Fraternal member, and therefore recorded another great race weekend that propelled her up in the standings four (4) spots to 7th place. Even though Jim, aka Chiefy, rebounded with a significantly higher score this week, he continued his downward spiral at full throttle!  This week Chiefy fell and additional four (4) places landing in 10th spot.

Next up is the trio consisting of Linda The Cookie Mom, Edie The Las Vegas Super Star and Jerry The Buschwacker.  Both The Cookie Mom and the Las Vegas Super Star rose in the standings three (3) places to sit this week in 1st and 5th, respectively.  This is the first time in recent memory that The Cookie Mom has been sitting on to of the totem pole!

Rounding out the top five groups of movers are Carlton The Doorman and Carol, aka Rudy.  The Doorman krept up the leaderboard two places and Rudy stumbled down two places.

 

Straight From The Crapper

 

The Crappiest Pick of The Week goes to Bobby Blue Crush.  Blue Crush was only able to manipulate one stinking point from his selection of Kasey Kahne!

We have a new Prince of The Poophouse this week.  After a short two week vacation Doug The Gandy Candy Man sent an eviction notice to Zee, aka Sissy and ousted her out of The Outhouse this week!

Next week the Cup teams are off and will be at home with their families celebrating Easter.

TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVE UP, FLIP YOUR VISOR DOWN, AND LET’S GO RACIN”!

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