It seemed that Denny Hamlin had Sunday’s First Data 500 at Martinsville Speedway won. That was, after Hamlin lifted up the rear end of Chase Elliott’s car, drop kicked him clear out of the groove, and deposited him into the crash wall! That kind of reminded me of Kenseth depositing Logano into the retaining wall a few years ago!
When the green flag dropped for the final restart with two laps to go in overtime, Hamlin’s No. 11 Toyota took off seamlessly. But Hamlin’s Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Kyle Busch came up beside him, making contact with the No. 11 to take the lead as the white flag waved and holding on to win at Martinsville while the field wrecked behind him.
The win punched KyBu’s ticket to the championship at Homestead-Miami Speedway and marked the No. 18 driver’s second career win at “The Paperclip.”
The Fraternal Order of The Go Fast
This week we have five players who were riding shot gun with the eventual race winner, Kyle Busch. Those five players include Edie The Las Vegas Super Star, Bobby Blue Crush, Carlton The Doorman, ol Skid-Marc, as well as Doug The Gandy Candy Man, and this motley crew racked up a very much needed 58 points for the first race in the Round of 8 at Martinsville!
The Movers and Shakers
Next on the scoring pylon this week is the duo of Snoopy Dawn and Leon Your Most Humble Sheriff. Both of these players, Snoopy and The Sheriff, must have been in touch with the deceased psychic, MIss Cleo, this past week to garner some inside race info! Nevertheless, this duo bagged 53 points added to their 3rd segment totals.
There were four players, Kathy The Church Forecloser, Cole The Redneck Understudy, Zee, aka Sissy, as well as Linda The Cookie Mom who were cheering very loudly for “Mr. Seven-Time”, Jimmie Johnson, all afternoon and received 33 points.
Meanwhile, there is another quartet of players, Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle, Lonna The Quilt Angel, David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey and Dan The Numbers Cruncher, who all grabbed 31 points at Martinsville. Two of the players, The Highly Opinionate One and The Numbers Dude was supporting the “drop kicker” or “punter”, depending on your point of view, Denny Hamlin. Both The Quilt Angel and The Throttle Jockey, however, put their marbles in the marble sack of Matt Kenseth.
Rounding out the top five scorers this week is Carole, aka Rudy, Rudy who was hanging out with “Sliced Bread”, Joey Logano all weekend and received 29 points.
Of the 21 players in the fantasy league 16 players slid around on the ol totem pole this week.
The biggest mover this week is ol Skid-Marc. Ol Skidz is moving in the right direction, climbing up five (5) spots to sit in 8th place.
There is gaggle of four players who moved four (4) places after the checkered flag flew at Martinsville. That foursome includes Bobby Blue Crush, Carlton The Doorman, Jeremy The Coach and A&M Aggie Sue. Both Blue Crush and The Doorman elevated their position four spots to sit in 4th and 5th places, respectively. Conversely, The Coach and Aggie Sue plumetted four spots this week to land in 9th and 10th, respectively.
Both Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle and Jim, aka Chiefy slid down the scoring pylon three (3) spots to rest in 11th and 19th, respectively.
A group of four players, Edie The Las Vegas Super Star,Dan The Numbers Cruncher, Linda The Cookie Mom and Jerry The Buschwacker all moved two (2) places this week. The Las Vegas Super Star, The Numbers Dude and The Cookie Mom elevated their previous position by two places to ride in 15th, 17, and 18th, respectively. However, The Buschwacker wasn’t nearly as lucky this week. The Buschwacker dropped two spots sitting now just outside of The Outhouse in 20th place.
Lastly, there is a gang of five players, Snoopy Dawn, Carole, aka Rudy, Lonna The Quilt Angel,Zee, aka Sissy and Kathy The Church Forecloser, who just moved next door to their previous positions this week. Snoopy was the only positive mover in this group and stepped up to sit now in 3rd place. But Rudy,The Quilt Angel,Sissy and The Church Forecloser all fell down one spot landing in 4th, 12th, 13th, and 16th, respectively.
Straight From The Crapper
This week “The Crappiest Pick of The Week” goes to Jim, aka Chiefy. Chiefy picked a bad week to choose Erik Jones as his man to win the race and could only put 11 points up on the board this week.
Once again our “Princess of The Poophouse” is Bernie The Bay Area Bandit. Even though she scored 27 points this week, it was not enough to get her out of “The Outhouse”!
Next week NASCAR rolls into the heart of Texas, Fort Worth, for a high speed, high banked race at the Texas Motor Speedway.
Just a side note: I was quite surprised that there was not more of a heated discussion between Hamlin and Elliott after the race. I thought, for sure, that Hamlin had gotten on “the fighting side” of Chase!
TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVES UP, FLIP YOUR VISOR DOWN, AND LET’S GO RACIN’!