The Coach, The Cheddar Head, And The Mudslinger Start Off With a Bang
By a matter of inches, Brad Keselowski won the race off pit road under the final caution in Sunday night’s Bojangles’ Southern 500 at Darlington Raceway.
That narrow margin was all the driver of the No. 2 Team Penske Ford needed to secure a stunning victory in one of the Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series’ marquee races.
On the flip side, Keselowski’s first victory of the season left Kyle Larson bitterly disappointed. Larson led 284 of the 367 laps in addition to winning the first and second stages of the race. But the work of Keselowski’s pit crew proved decisive.
Keselowski controlled the final restart on Lap 348 and pulled away, as Larson faded to third and had to fend off a determined charge by Kevin Harvick to hold that position. It was Joey Logano who passed Larson for second on Lap 352, giving team Team Penske a 1-2 finish and the organization its first win at Darlington since 1975.
The Fraternal Order of The Go Fast
There are three players who, to begin this segment, had fantastic results racking up a cool 55 points. David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey, Jeremy The Coach, and Amber The Extremely Lucky Cheddar Head were all riding shotgun with the Bojangles Southern 500 victor, “Blazingly Bad” Brad Keselowski. With this timely win, this unlikely duo will launch themselves into the lead as the starting gate was lowered this weekend at Darlington.
The Movers and The Shakers
Carlton The Doorman and Jerry The Buschwacker were fully supporting Team Penske’s Joey Logano. Both players were really hoping that “Sliced Bread” would be driving his hot rod into Victory Lane after the checkered flag waved at Darlington. Logano wasn’t able to pull off the win, but he did reward these players with a very nifty 50 points.
Meanwhile, Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle latched onto 44 points when Erik Jones rolled across the start/finish line in eighth place.
Next, we have a motley trio consisting of Jim, aka Chiefy,Carole, aka Rudy, as well as Linda B. The Cookie Mom grouped together scoring a much needed 39 points. While Chiefy and The Cookie Mom were betting the farm on Kurt Busch, Rudy was riding high with “Freaky Fast” Kevin Harvick. Both drivers delivered the same score to their rooters.
Lastly, A&M Aggie Sue added 35 points to start her segment off when Kyle Busch rolled across the checkered flag in seventh place.
Since this was the very first race of the segment, there was no movement. I lined ’em up and let the big dog eat!
Straight From The Crapper
Both Kathy The Church Forecloser, Edie The Las Vegas Super Star, and Doug The Gandy Candy Man was only able to score 1 microscopic point at Darlington. Even though this trio scored the same low score, they were rooting for two different drivers. Both The Church Foreclose and The Candy Man were pulling for Clint Bowyer, while The Las Vegas Super Star was solidly behind Mr. Seven-Time, Jimmie Johnson. This trio starts out this segment sharing “The Crappiest PIck of The Week”!
Likewise, this trio starts off the segment sharing the coveted “Outhouse Award” this week! Sure hope that it isn’t too crowded in there!
Next week NASCAR rolls into the iconic Indianapolis Motor Speedway, and with just one race left, there are several drivers who can only make the playoffs by living out their dreams and winning the race at IMS
TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVES UP, FLIP YOUR VISOR DOWN, AND LET’S GO RACIN’!