(WOMR file photo)
When Matt Kenseth won the Sprint Cup championship in 2003, he and his team were criticized because they had only won a single race en route. Should Kenseth win this year’s championship, no such criticisms will be made because on Sunday, the Joe Gibbs Racing driver won The Sylvania 300. That is the seventh victory in 2013 for that team!
Movers and Shakers
We have a new person at the head table this week! “Richard The NASCAR Picker” has eeked out a small lead in the standings with the points that he gathered up following his choice of Clint Bowyer, and “Leon The Humble Sheriff’s” crappy pick of Kasey Kahne.
Topping the list as the big scorer this week is “Dan The Numbers Cruncher”. “The Numbers Dude” was the only player rooting for the JGR #20 Dollar General Store Toyota this week in Louden. For his efforts “The Numbers Dude” gathered up all the marbles, and not to mention 48 valuable points this week!
Like son. like mother, Zee had a great Sunday, and was the second highest point-getter this week. Zee gathered up 39 points for JUNIOR’S 6th place finish at “The Magic Mile.
“Jason The Latent Tie Hippie” was seeing many colors during the afternoon! His pick, Martin Truex,Jr., separated himself from all the bad media press that his team, Michael Waltrip Racing, was intertwined in this week. Truex had many bright spots throughout the race, ultimately finishing in 10th place, as the checkered flag flew! “The Tie Dye Dude” grabbed 35 points. Not bad for this week!
Also scoring 35 points is “Bernie The Bay Area Bandit” via her choice of Carl Edwards.
Marc went out on a limb for this race, selected the 2013 Sprint Cup champ, a non-Chaser, “Blazingly Bad” Brad Keselowski. However, that pick proved to be a clever option. That crafty pick rewarded Marc with 34 points.
Notwithstanding the fact that “David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey” grabbed a second place finish last night at Bakersfield, CA in his midget (congrats Champ), Hamlin’s 12th place finish gave him 32 points. (More on David’s race picks below)
Rounding out the players who had a fairly decent Sunday are; “Jerry The Buschwacker”, Jeremy The Coach”, and “Jim, aka Chiefy”. All three players were hoping to end hunger with Jeff Gordon Sunday. For their efforts, the aforementioned gathered up a cool 30 points.
Once agin this week’s wide variety of scores provided much movement on the totem pole!
“A&M Aggie Sue” and Dawn are the two biggest movers. Unfortunately, their individual and collective movement was in a southerly direction this week. Sue’s choice, as well as Dawn’s choice, of pretty boy Kasey Kahne netted them a smoking 8 points. Those 8 points allowed both of them to drop, in the standings, faster than a Prom dress! Sue and Dawn fell six spots, from 2nd and 3rd place respectively, to land in 9th and 10th place, respectively.
“Karen The Highly opinionated Southern Belle” suffered nearly the same fate with choice of Kahne, as well. Karen dropped, like a bad habit, five spots from 8th place to land in 13th spot.
Conversely, “Dan The Numbers Cruncher” climbed up 5 spots, rising from 13th to 8th with his winning pick today!
Additionally, “Jason The Latent Tie Dye Hippie” and Zee slipped on up four spots this week, to reside in 6th and 7th place, respectively.
Straight From The Crapper
This week the award must be shared by four of our finest players, “Karen the Highly Opinionated Southern Belle”, Dawn, “A&M Aggie Sue”, and “Leon the Humble Sheriff”. These four players should take pride in their single digit return on their efforts! It is not the lowest score that has ever been recorded in The Redneck Fantasy League, however, 8 points ranks right down near the bottom!
For their collective under-performing efforts the above named foursome are the co-winners of this week’s “Crappiest Picks of the Week” award!
Lastly, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention our new “Governor of The Gas House”, “The King Of The Throne“, the current “Ogre in The Outhouse”, it is “David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey”!
The Redneck Fantasy League salutes these four players for the total lack of expertise in picking a weekly winner. Additionally, The Redneck Fantasy League welcomes David back to his most familiar place, “The Proprietor of the Poop House”!
TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVES UP, FLIP YOUR VISOR DOWN, AND LET’S GO RACIN’!