(WOMR file photo)
Martinsville is the only short track in the Chase. Notwithstanding that fact, and absent a road course, it (Martinsville) completes all the disciplines of the NASCAR season. Martinsville also is the one place in the Chase that, because of it’s small size, and the fact that there are 43 cars trying to race with each other on this paper clip, you are either in another driver’s way – or they are in your way! That fact alone is enough to get some driver’s “pooper chapped”! But if you add to the fact that there are lingering “paybacks” that can, and sometimes, do happen here, the aforementioned fact hastens the bruised egos, lost tempers, and downright hostile feelings that result at the end of the day at Martinsville!
Today “Mr. Four-Time”, “Big Daddy”, Jeff Gordon, survived the paper clip to log his very first victory of the 2013 season! Gordon gets to add to his already large collection of grandfathers clocks that are awarded to the winners at Martinsville Speedway.
The Chase plot thickens as the drivers leave Martinsville. There is a tie at the top of the standings between Jimmie Johnson and Matt Kenseth.. There are now only three races left til a Sprint Cup champion is crowned at the end of the race at Homestead, just three weeks away.
The Movers and Shakers
This week only Marc was riding with the eventual winner, Jeff Gordon. Therefore, Marc was the biggest scorer grabbing 47 points for Gordon’s win.
“Richard The NASCAR Picker” was the second leading scorer, 44 points. “The NASCAR Picker” selected Matt Kenseth to win the race. Kenseth did lead the most laps during the race, however, he was unable to fight off the challenge that Gordon mounted in the closing 20 laps.
Carole, “Jerry The Buschwacker”, and “Jeremy The Coach” were all drinking the Clint Bowyer kool-aid, however, in this case it was the 5hr Energy Drink that they were consuming! For their loyalty to Bowyer, they logged 42 points this week.
“Jason The Latent Tie Dye Hippie” and “Leon Your Most Humble Sheriff”, and “Dan The Numbers Cruncher” each scored 40 points. “The Tie Dye Hippie Dude” got his points from “Blazingly Bad” Brad Keselowski. “The Sheriff” and “The Numbers Dude”, however, scored their 40 points via Jimmie Johnson’s 5th p-lace finish.
Dawn was rooting for NASCAR’s most popular driver, Dale Earnhardt, Jr., to give her a good points day. He did just that, giving her 36 points for his 8th place finish.
“Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle” had a reasonably good race results. She picked Carl Edwards and he rewarded her with 32 points for his 12th place finish.
Zee went out on kind of a limb by selecting Joey Logano. However, Logano’s 14th place finish gave Zee 30 points this week.
There were only a few players that had a large scale move in the standings. Marc zoomed up four spots after picking the race winner this week. Carole also had a good week, moving up three spots. Additionally, both Dawn and “Dan The Numbers Cruncher” each clawed up one spot in the standings.
On the negative side “A&M Aggie Sue” plummeted 4 places. Following Sue in the fall from grace were, “Jim,aka Chiefy”, “Bernie The Bay Area Bandit”, “Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle”, and Carlton, each falling one spot.
Straight From The Crapper
It was not a good week for two players! In fact, there was a scramble to see which player was the “crappiest”! Our resident “Prince of The Pooper”, “The Governor of The Gas House”, “The Ogre of The Outhouse”, “David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey” only scored 8 points with his selection of Tony Stewart (Mark Martin filing in Smoke’s absence). When a player scores in the single digits you can be sure that you had a bad week. Scoring 8 points should give you “the crappiest picks of the week” award! Not so this week!
This week there was one player that logged less than “The Mudslinger’s” myopic 8 points! “A&M Aggie Sue” showed her ineptitude in picking winners by picking Martin Truex,Jr., and only getting 6 points this week. For her incompetence Sue wins, hands down I might add, the “crappiest picks of the week” award!
The Redneck Fantasy League salutes you, Sue, for your microscopic 6 points!
It is also very apparent that David is about to lock up his second stint as the winner of “The Outhouse Award”! “The Governor of The Gas House” has a 28 point lead on his closest rival, Zee. Unless David has two exceptionally great races, and Zee craps in her mess kit, David will be the first two time award winner!
Next Sunday NASCAR moves to The Lone Star State and the Texas Motor Speedway. The racing there should be very fast and very exciting!
Good luck to all.
FOUR DRIVERS, THREE RACES, ONE CHAMPIONSHIP, WHO WILL BE THE LAST MAN STANDING?
TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVES UP FLIP YOUR VISOR DOWN, AND LET’S GO RACIN”