Kurt Busch

(WOMR file photo)

NEWS FLASH:

Kurt Busch held off Jimmie Johnson over the final 12 laps and went on to win Sunday’s Sprint Cup race at Martinsville Speedway!  It was “The Outlaw’s” first win since the fall race at Dover in 2011, 83 races! And it came after trouble in the pits just 44 laps into the 500-lap race that caused him to tell his crew their day was over.  The victory was Busch’s first of the season, second at Martinsville, and first as a driver for for his new employer, Gene Haas, the majority owner, and controller of the BIG money, at Stewart-Haas Racing.

It appears that “potty mouth”, KuBu, has reversed his downward spiral in NASCAR over the last four years.  This is his fourth race team in the last four years!  Could this be the career saving event that KuBu has been searching for?

 

Movers and Shakers

 

“Jerry The Buschwacker” was the only player to successfully pick the winner in the STP 500 at Martinsville.  For that pick of Kurt Busch, Jerry was rewarded nicely with 47 points.

Sitting atop the totem pole, Dawn, increased her lead over the field by scoring 44 points from “Six Pack’s”, Jimmie Johnson, second place finish at Martinsville.  Also riding the #48 Lowe’s gravy train, and grabbing 44 points this Sunday, is “David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey”.

Logging a nifty 42 points this week from JUNIOR NATION finishing in 3rd is Jim, aka, “Chiefy”

Our current “Prince of The Poop House”, Marc, had a very good day scoring a nice 41 points.  However, it was not enough for him escape from the dwelling down at the end of “Lonely Street”, not quite Heartbreak Hotel, but better known as “The Outhouse”!

The fifth highest scorer this week was “Dan The Numbers Dude”!  It seems that “The Numbers Cruncher” crunched out a cool 36 points via the Clint Bowyer 9th place finish at Martinsville.

Rounding out the top six scoring groups is “Jeremy The Coach”, Carole, and “Leon Your Most Humble Sheriff” all getting 32 points for Jeff Gordon’s 12th place finish.

Despite the fact that the middle of the standings is tight, and people are grouped closely, there was not any large scale movement this week.  Having said all that, the biggest mover this week was “A&M Aggie Sue”.  She did not have a good race this week, only logging six (6) minuscule points!  Those six points was what propelled her to plummet four spots on the totem pole this week, landing on the door step of “The Outhouse”.

Likewise, “Jason The Latent Tie Dye Hippie” also did not fare very well at Martinsville, either.  Even though “The Latent Tie Dye Hippie Dude” scored 25 points, it was not enough to sustain his fourth place position last week.  He now resides in 7th place this week!

On the positive side of the movement scale, both “Dan The Numbers Cruncher” and “David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey” climbed up two spots residing in 10th and 11th position, respectively.

 

Straight From The Crapper

 

The player who won “the crappiest picks of the week” award was easy to choose!  “A&M Aggie Sue” won that award going away this week!  She was only able to pick up 6 points at Martinsville. Nevertheless, her “crappy pick”, as poor as it was this week, was not nearly poor enough for her to land in “The Outhouse”!  Marc still has a six point lead, and therefore, is still firmly entrenched “on the throne” this week!

Next week NASCAR is off to play in Texas.  I have often heard that “if your gonna play in Texas, you gotta have a fiddle in the band.  That lead guitar is hot, but not for a Louisiana man. So rosin up that bow for ‘faded love’, and let’s all dance”.

TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVES UP, FLIP YOUR VISOR DOWN, AND LET’S GO RACIN’!

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