(WOMR file photo)
Joey Logano won the rain delayed, Monday afternoon, Duck Commander 500 under a green-white-checkered, expanding the number of drivers to win a race this season to seven. Logano looked primed for a victory with teammate Brad Keselowski behind him when Kurt Busch shredded a tire, drawing out the seventh and final caution of the day.
Movers and Shakers
“A&M Aggie Sue” was the big winner in The Duck Commander 500 at Texas Motor Speedway. I guess that this is only fitting, since she lists her hometown as Bryan, TX, aka College Station, home of Texas A&M! She was the only player to have “Sliced Bread”, Joey Logano at TMS. She was rewarded very nicely with the max points, 48 big ones.
Zee, in her attempt to unseat Dawn as the leader this week, was the only player that chose “Mr. Four-Time”, Jeff Gordon. Zee grabbed a cool 43 points for Gordon’s second place finish. Those 43 points moved Zee to within 5 points of the leader.
“Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle” was wearing her really ugly yellow T-shirt and popping M&M’s all race, hoping that ol Kylie would bring her a big number. Fortunately for her “TLVW” (The Las Vegas Weasel), aka, Kyle Busch finished in third place and put 42 points into her totals for the week.
“Jason The Latent Tie Dye Hippie” was “sticking with The Biff”, even after Biffle had a horrendous race last weekend at Martinsville. For “sticking with The Biff”, Jason got 38 points.
And rounding out the top five scorers of the week is our resident “Prince of The Poophouse”, Marc, who scored 37 points! That, my friends, is twice as many points as he had after the first three (3) races in this segment! Also scoring a cool 37 points, via Kenseth’s t7th place finish, was yours truly, “Leon Your Most Humble Sheriff”.
There was a handful of players that moved significantly in the standings this week. The biggest mover for the week was Carole. Her selecton of Kevin Harvick rally put a big hurt on her this week. Harvick gave her only 3 points this week! Those 3 points, in her tally bucket, plummeted her from a money making fourth spot in the standings six (6) places to land in 10th place!
Equally as disastrous results was laid upon “Dan The Numbers Cruncher”, who also picked Kevin Harvick and received just 3 points. “The Numbers Dude” dropped in the standings like a red hot potato from 11th to land in, and take total control of, “The Outhouse” this week! One brother’s good fortune, Marc scoring 37 points, is another brother’s misfortune!
Both “Jerry The Buschwacker”, and “Jeremy The Coach” only slip minutely from their previous position, sliding just one spot.
On the positive side of this week’s movement finds several players bettering their previous week’s standings. Both “Jason The Latent Tie Dye Hippie” and “A&M Agiie Sue” scratched and clawed their way up 3 places on the totem pole, landing in 4th and 12th, respectively.
Likewise, both “Leon Your Most Humble Sheriff” and Marc, “the former Prince of The Poophouse” stepped up two spots this week.
Lastly Zee, “Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle”, and “David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey” each stepped up one position in the standings after Texas.
Straight From The Crapper
This week we have co-conspirators for “the crappiest picks of the week”! Both “Dan The Numbers Dude” and Carole scored just a single digit this week. Now you got to admit that scoring only 3 points would qualify the player as the winner of “the crappiest picks of the week” award. One more comment that I would like to offer up at this time. To be an accountant, and a person whose sole job is to manipulate numbers, well………nuff said!
As I have alluded to above, we have a new “Guardian of The Gashouse”, “Prince of The Poophouse“! That honor passed like gas from one brother to another this week, from Marc to Dan!
Next week NASCAR moves the show to the only race track that has numerous monikers, “the track too tough to tame”, or my favorite, “The Lady In Black”!
TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVES UP, FLIP YOUR VISOR DOWN, AND LET’S GO RACIN’!