(WOMR file photo)
With just two races to go in this segment, the race for the podium is really heating up! The top five players are separated by just eleven (11) points. In fact, Dawn and “Jeremy The Coach” are tied for second place. Additionally, “Jim, aka Chiefy” is just one (1) point behind the tied duo, resting in fourth spot. Yours truly, “Leon The Humble Sheriff”, is lurking around the corner, just four (4) points behind “Chiefy”! Meahwhile, “Jason The Latent Tie Dye Hippie” is trying to make a run on the “podium players”, lying just eight (8) points out of the money.
With a good showing in the last two races, and a little bad luck from the top five, both Zee and “Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle” could make an appearance on the podium, and pocket some of that valuable “Podium Money”!
Meanwhile out at “The Outhouse”, the fight for the title of “Prince/Princess of The Poophouse”, “Guardian of The Gashouse”, “Moderator of Methane” is starting to gather some “steam”! Presently there are three who are staging a valiant fight to host the prestigious “Outhouse Award” for the next segment. Even though Marc has had the keys to “The Executive Washroom” for most of this segment, it appears that he has “emerged from that stupor” that seemed to plague him for many weeks. Although if past performances in this segment is any mark of his excellence, or lack thereof, I would not count Marc out of “The Outhouse” just yet.
Notwithstanding the previous paragraph, there are two competitors that are really giving Marc “the runs”! Both “Jerry The Buschwacker” and “Dan The Numbers Cruncher” are taking serious aim at Marc for “Controller of the Craphouse”. Those three players are just two (2) points apart, with just two races left to determine who is “the crappiest picker of all”!
Now that we are up to date on the who is on top and who is on the bottom, it is time to reveal our 5hr Energy Drink 400 picks at the Kansas Speedway!
The Kansas Picks
This week the player’s picks are fairly evenly distributed among five drivers. However, there are two drivers who have a little larger group of cheerleaders than others.
This week in Kansas City, The Biff has emerged as a contender among our players. “Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle”, Carlton, Carole, and Zee will most likely seen at Walmart, or the favorite drug store, purchasing as many 3M products as possible, as in Scotch Tape, etc. After all they are “sticking with The Biff”, and that is his major sponsor this week!
Additionally, do not be alarmed if you witness some really strange, and peculiarly hyped up behavior out of “Jim, aka Chiefy”, Edie, “Jeremy The Coach”, and “Jerry The Buschwacker”. All four may overdosing on 5hr Energy Drink this Sunday! All four of them may be pinging off the walls, hyperventilating, and most definitely rooting for Clint Bowyer!
Moving along in the rooting section, Marc, in his hopes to distance himself from “The Outhouse”, “Bernie The Bay Area Bandit”, and “Leon Your Most Humble Sheriff” will be most likely strapped to bar stool, slurping down the Miller Lite, and hoping that “Blazingly Bad” Brad Keselowski can have more control on his race car than he exhibited at Talladega, and bring home “the hardware”!
The “other beer wagon” has two supporters this week. Even though “Jason The Latent Tie Dye Hippie” likes those heavy dark “body slammer” beers, he may make an exception and “grab a couple of Buds” this week. Likewise, Dawn is also rooting for the driver of “The King of Beers”, Kevin Harvick.
Lastly, “A&M Aggie Sue” and “Dan The Numbers Cruncher” must have some heavy duty work to do. I think that I have seen them both down at their local CAT rental dealer trying to rent some equipment! You know what they say? If it ain’t a Cat, it is a dog! Nevertheless, these two will be cheering on “The Rocket Man”, Ryan Newman this weekend.
And as always, there is someone who is “the lone wolf”, and as such is “in bidnez” for himself. This week it is “David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey” who is “hanging with Hamlin!
Now that you have the run down, let’s go have some fun!
TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVES UP, FLIP YOUR VISOR DOWN, AND LET’S GO RACING’!