(WOMR file photo)
Greetings from Calistoga, CA, just twenty or so miles north of the earthquake epicenter town of Napa!
The caravan rolled into this very quaint and very historic village at the very North end of the Napa Valley Monday morning. Some may wonder what is the draw in Calistoga for this week? Besides the ability to partake in a little of “the fruit of the grape”, this weekend has some of the finest wingless sprint car and midget racing on the West Coast!
Additionally, I get to watch one of our own, “David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey” wheel his midget against some of the best racers on the West Coast, and have fun with, what looks like, half of the Redneck Fantasy League players, as well!
Our Atlanta Picks
The over whelming choice this week at the Atlanta Motor Speedway is “Blazingly Bad” Brad Keselowski!
And yep, the Redneck Fantasy League private investigator has reported back to the sheriff that he has observed some very interesting things this week. Just as side note, for those that are Catholic, a visit to the confessional may be in order! And for those not Catholic, a consult with your minister may help you out. The report is scandalous!
But I digress!
It was reported in the weekly blotter that “Jim, aka Chiefy”, Edie, “Carlton The Doorman”, Carole and “Jason The Latent Tie Dye Hippie” were all seen, at various times, and in various neighborhoods, pounding down a “cool one”. “Jason The Tie Dye Dude” was observed at a weekend Dave Mathews Band concert in “Beserkley” heavily imbibing in the suds!. In fact, the Redneck Fantasy League P.I. noted in his report that they all were specifically sipping on the suds of a Miller Lite! Could they all, collectively, have fallen off of the wagon at the same time? Could that be a coincidence, or were they all trying to help the sales of the sponsor of their driver, Brad Keselowski, hoping he will win the Oral-B 500 in Atlanta this Sunday?
Another interesting segment of the P.I. report was that Brandon, brother Doug, Jr. and “Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle” were all going through their neighborhoods, as well as standing out in front of their neighborhood Walmart stores with signs trying to raise money to end world hunger, and singing “Michael Row Your Boat Ashore”. Very Interestingly, all were wearing a #24 hat and shirt in support of their driver this week at Atlanta, Jeff Gordon!
Reading further in the P.I. report, a very peculiar item stood out like a very sore thumb. It wasn’t the fact that Dawn, “Dan The Numbers Cruncher”, and “Leon Your Most Humble Sheriff”, and current award winning “Prince of The Poophouse” was seen mowing down bags and bags of M&M’s, but that “The Prince of The Poophouse” was actually wearing both a Kylie hat and shirt!
Please somebody help him! I think that he has completely went over to the “dark side”!
On page two of the report there is also another reference to drinking! Both Zee and “Doug The Former Mudslinger and Psychic, turned Kettle Corn Dude” were observed loading up their shopping carts with Bud and some Bud Lite with Lime! What is with all the drinking this week? Well one thing is for sure, Kevin Harvick should be happy with these two players will be rooting vigorously for him!
Even though Carl Edwards is leaving Roush-Fenway at the end of this season, both “A&M Aggie Sue” and “David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey” are hoping that he can bring another victory to that team before he joins Joe Gibbs Racing in 2015.
And last, but definitely not least, Lonna and Marc are joining, most likely temporarily, JUNIOR NATION this week. It is obvious that both are hoping that Dale Earnhardt, Jr. can grab one more victory before The Chase starts!
For the remaining three players, as they say down South, y’all are “in bidnez” for yourselves!
Since this is the first race of the third segment, It is a fresh start for all, so good luck!
Let’s all hope that this Saturday night does not turn into a “Rainy Night In Georgia”!
TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVES UP, FLIP YOUR VISOR DOWN, AND LET’S GO RACIN’!