(WOMR file photo)
Kevin Harvick got the better of Jeff Gordon on a restart with two laps two go in the Bank of America 500 at Charlotte Motor Speedway, winning the race and ensuring his place in the next round of the Chase for the NASCAR Sprint Cup.
But the true drama came on the cool down lap after the race. It appeared that “Blazingly Bad” Brad Keselowski had an ax to grind with several drivers. Keselowski’s first target was Denny Hamlin, bumping, banging, and attempting to spin him in turn #4 after the race. Then “Blazingly Bad” Brad set his sights on Matt Kenseth, who he ran into the turn #1 wall on a restart earlier in the race. As collateral damage from Brad’s use of his race car as a weapon, was Tony Stewart’s car. After Stewart got a little of Kes’ wrath, Smoke promptly put his car in reverse and gassed it up, ramming the front end of the #2 Ford.
But the coup de gras was the flying ambush by Kenseth. Keselowski was between the haulers and caught totally off guard! It reminded me of many Friday nights at Kearney Bowl in the pits! Remember I have often said that “desperate people will do desperate things in desperate situations”? Well, sports fans we are all witness to that this evening. And if you thought that there was frustration exhibited at Charlotte, wait til Talladega unfolds!
Movers and Shakers
Even though our new leader, “David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey, did not score the most points for the race at Charlotte, the 43 points that he did score was enough to catapult him into the lead this week.”
The only player that selected Kevin Harvick to win this race was “Jerry The Buschwacker”, who grabbed 48 points, the max for the race.
Four players, “David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey”, “Jeremy The Coach”, Carole, and “Doug The Former Mudslinger and Psychic, Turned Kettle Corn Dude” all were riding shotgun with Jeff Gordon, and because of that they each gathered up 43 points for his second place finish.
Both Edie, and “Carlton The Doorman” received 40 points via Joey Logano’s fourth place showing at Charlotte.
Dawn was one of those players this week that was “in bidnez” for herself. Fortunately for her she was rewarded 37 points for Carl Edwards’ eighth place finish.
Rounding out the top five scores this week is a group of three players. “Doug, Jr. The Crown Prince of Kettle Corn” and “Leon Your Most Humble Sheriff” received 34 points from Kasey Kahne’s tenth place finish. While Lonna also received 34 points at Charlotte, however, her tally came from Kurt Busch’s 11th place finish.
This week the only two players that did not change positions were our bottom two players, “Jim, aka Chiefy” and “The Princess of The Poophouse”, Edie!
The single biggest mover this week was Marc, who plummeted four (4) places to land in 11th spot.
Likewise, “Jason The Latent Tie Dye Hippie” fell three (3) spots to rest now in 14th place.
“Doug The Kettle Corn Dude”, “Jerry The Buschwacker”, and “Carlton The Doorman” all moved up two (2) spots.
Brandon and “Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle” each dropped two (2) places in the standings.
The remaining eleven players either moved up one or dropped one place this week.
Straight From The Crapper
It was very easy this week to select the recipient of “the crappiest pick of the week” award. This week there are three players who tied with the absolute worst score you can possibly get, one (1) microscopic point. “Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle”, Brandon, and “Jason The Latent Tie Dye Hippie” all selected Clint Bowyer, and therefore, are co-recipients of “the crappiest picks of the week” award!
As was previously mentioned, one of the two players who “held their own” was our “Princess of The Poophouse”, Edie. However, I would be remiss if I did not mention that she only holds a one (1) point edge on her closest rival for that spot, “Jim, aka Chiefy”!
Next week is the elimination race for this segment, which will heighten the drama! Add to that fact that the race track is not just another race track, it is Talladega baby!
So I will leave you with the tune that should have been playing on the PA system at Charlotte after the race!
TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVES UP, PULL YOUR VISOR DOWN, AND LET’S GO RACIN’!