(WOMR file photo)
I would like to start off this post by paraphrasing Ernest Laurence Thayer’s poem of “Casey At The Bat”, with a little NASCAR twist!
“Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright,The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light! And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout, Because there is great joy in Martinsville—The Mighty Junior hit it out!”
Dale Jr. might have lost his chances of winning a Sprint Cup championship with his wreck last week at Talladega, but he didn’t diminish his chances of a winning a few more races before the season ends! That is right folks, Dale Earnhardt, Jr. resurrected himself from the embers of the championship flames, kind of like the mythological Phoenix, to win the Goody’s Headache Relief Shot 500 at Martinsville!
Movers and Shakers
Since nobody had all their marbles in Dale Earnhardt, Jr’s marble bag, nobody scored maximum points this week. Nevertheless, Lonna was able to rack up the highest point total this week, 40 points, with a little help from “The Rocket Man”, Ryan Newman’s third place finish.
Edie appears to on a roll, while rocketing out of “The Outhouse” a couple of weeks ago! Her pick of Matt Kenseth rewarded her a nifty 39 points at Martinsville.
Not far behind Edie on the scoring pylon this week is the quartet of “Doug, Jr. The Crown Prince of Kettle Corn”, “A&M Aggie Sue“, Dawn, and “Leon Your Current Outhouse Recipient, Part-Time Cardiologist and Strawberry Picker, and Your Most Humble Sheriff”, all were rooting loudly for Clint Bowyer at Martinsville. Bowyer’s 7th place finish put 38 points in hip pockets of those four players!
Additionally, Brandon, “Dan The Numbers Cruncher”, and “Bernie The Bay area Bandit and Password Queen” all grabbed a very cool 37 points from Denny Hamlin’s 8th place finish.
Rounding out the top five scorers this week getting 33 points for Kyle Busch’s 12th place finish is our master of multi-tasking, “Doug The Former Mudslinger and Psychic, Turned Kettle Corn Dude”.
There were only five players who did not trade places in the standings this week, “A&M Aggie Sue”, Zee, Marc, “Jim, aka Chiefy”, and “Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle”! With the use of some simple math, that would indicate that 15 players slithered up or down on the ol totem pole this week.
Two players, Carole and “David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey” dropped like an extremely bad habit this week! Both players fell five (5)spots in the standings, David landed in 7th place and Carole dropped to 13th place this week. Jerry, too had a bad week falling three (3) spots to 18th place, not far from “The Outhouse”!
The rest of the players not mentioned so far either moved up or down a maximum of two spots this week.
The only player that could feel somewhat comfortable with their position is our leader “A&M Aggie Sue”. She has a comfortable 26 point lead over Dawn for first place. The remaining four money paying spots are very hotly contested. Additionally, there are about three more players just out of the money positions that, with a good run in the remaining three races, could bump and bang their way into the money!
Straight From The Crapper
This week we have a three-way tie for the “crappiest picks of the week”award. This award is shared by the three players who picked Kasey Kahne this week, “Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle”, “Jerry The Buschwacker”, and “David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey”. This illustrious trio all grabbed an embarrassing 4 points this week, showing their total lack of competency in selecting drivers to win a race!
Coupled with the above accomplishment for “Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle”, the four (4) points scored at Martinsville further cemented her absolute control of “The Outhouse”! Her position “on the throne” is secured by a very comfortable 20 point margin this week!
Next week NASCAR makes it’s last appearance in the heart of Texas, Fort Worth. My question to all of you is:
“Does Fort Worth ever cross your mind?”
TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVES UP, FLIP YOUR VISOR DOWN, AND LET’S GO RACIN”!