Brad Keselowski

After having endured all four seasons, minor injuries from the combination of howling winds in excess of 40 mph, pounding rain that felt like the rapid fire jabs from Mike Tyson, as well as one heck of a sand storm, all within the four hours it took to run the Kobalt Tools 400 at the Las Vegas Motor Speedway, I am a survivor!

Overcoming a pit road speeding penalty with daring late-race strategy, Brad Keselowski broke a 33-race drought with a victory in Sunday’s Kobalt 400 at Las Vegas Motor Speedway.

Keselowski passed Las Vegas native Kyle Busch with five laps left to win for the first time since the fifth race of 2015 at Auto Club Speedway in Fontana, California. The 2012 NASCAR Sprint Cup Series champion beat Team Penske shopmate Joey Logano to the finish line by .675 seconds, as Busch lost ground over the closing laps.


The Fraternal Order Of The Go Fast

There were two players, the father and son duo of Jason The Latent Tie Dye Hippie and All Around Edgy Dude as well as Leon The Retired Airline Captain, Part-Time Cardiologist and Strawberry Picker and Your Most Humble Sheriff who had the foresight to select “Blazingly Bad” Brad Keselowski for Las Vegas.  Both the All Around Edgy Dude and the Part-Time Cardiologist and Strawberry Picker scored max points this week of 44.


The Movers and Shakers


Second on the scoring list for Las Vegas is a group of three players, Carlton The Doorman, Cole The On Demand Baseball Player and Marc NN (No Nickname). Carlton The Doorman was awarded his 40 points for Logano’s second place finish. While both Marc NN (No Nickname) and The On Demand Baseball Player received their 40 points from Jimmie Johnson’s third place finish plus bonus points.

Racking up the third highest totals for Sunday was nearly half of the entire Redneck Fantasy League, nine players in total, had chosen The Shrub, Kyle Busch.  Those eight players include Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle, Zee, aka Sissy, Carole, aka Rudy, Jim, aka Chiefy, Edie The Las Vegas Super Star, David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey, Linda The Cookie Mom, Kilimanjaro Bobby as well as Jeremy The Coach.  All eight of these players racked up 38 points Sunday.

Bernie The Bay Area Bandit and Password Queen grabbed a cool 35 points from Kevin Harvick’s seventh place finish.

Rounding out the top five scorers were Dawn, aka SnoopyDoug The Former Mudslinger and Psychic, Turned Kettle Corn Dude and A&M Aggie Sue.  All of these players were riding shotgun with the other Busch brother, Kurt, and received 33 points.

This week the upward movement by many players was measured in small increments of one to four places.  However, there were three players who fell like a prom dress this week!

The largest positive movement was an upward move of four spots.  Those players who climbed four spots were Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle, Carlton The Doorman, Bobby, aka Blue Crush, Linda The Cookie Mom, Leon Your Most Humble Sheriff, as well as Jason The Latent Tie Dye Hippie and All Around Edgy Dude, all moved up four spots.

Meanwhile Jim, aka Chiefy, and Jeremy The Coach climbed up three places.

Additionally, Cole The On Demand Baseball Player, Carole, aka Rudy and Marc NN (No Nickname) stepped up two places Sunday.

On the negative side Lonna The Quilt Angel was shot out of the sky and plummeted fourteen (14) spots to crash land in 16th place!

Lastly, Jerry The Buschwacker tumbled eight (8) spots to rest now in 18th place.


Straight From The Crapper


Both Lonna The Quilt Angel and Jerry The Buschwacker tied for the coveted “Crappiest Pick of The Week Award”!

Meanwhile, Bernie The Bay Area Bandit has become the Princess of the Poophouse this week by having the lowest total score, and thereby winning The Outhouse Award!

The NASCAR haulers have a very short jaunt over to Phoenix this week for the Good Sam 500 (k).  They will be “rocking down the highway”!

Good luck to all!


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