jimmie johnson pit stop

HE’S BACK!!!!

After Sunday’s victory at Charlotte Motor Speedway, Jimmie Johnson can proclaim justifiably “The Boys are Back in Town.”

But for five other Chase for the NASCAR Sprint Cup drivers, all of whom finished 30th or worse in the rain-delayed Bank of America 500, the race ended in a medley of dire straits.

Taking the lead from Matt Kenseth after a restart on Lap 317 of 334, Johnson pulled away to win by 1.474 seconds over the driver of the No. 20 Joe Gibbs Racing Toyota. Johnson put his No. 48 Chevrolet in Victory Lane for the third time this season, the eighth time at Charlotte – the third since the repaving of the track in March 2006 – and the 78th time in his career.

The real prize for the six-time champion, however, was a guaranteed berth in the Chase’s Round of 8 and the accompanying stress-free trip to Talladega two weeks hence.

 

The Fraternal Order of The Go Fast

 

There was a duo of “girl-power” regining today as lthe top socrers in the fantasy league!  That duo consists of Zee, aka Sissy and Bernie The Bay Area Bandit and Part-Time Stalker, both ladies grabbed 45 points as Mr. Six-Pack, Jimmie Johnson, scored his 78th career victory in the Bank America 500.

 

Movers and Shakers

 

Following right behind the “girl power” scoring section of the leaderboard is a quartet consisting of Carlton The Doorman, Edie The Las Vegas Super Star, A&M Aggie Sue, and Bobby Blue Crush.  This group added 40 points to their segment tally via Matt Kenseth’s 2nd place finish.

Right in the middle of the high scoring list is Lonna The Quilt Angel who pocketed 38 points from a low flying stealthy Ryan Newman’s 4th place finish.

Both Jim, aka Chiefy and Doug The Gandy Candy Dude added 36 points to their respective score sheets with Kyle Busch’s 6th place finish at Charlotte.

Rounding out out top five scorers this week is Jason The Latent Tie Dye Hippie and All-Around Edgy Dude with a nice return of 34 points from “Blazingly Bad” Brad Keselowski’s 7th place results at today.

After the checkered flag flew at Charlotte the new results on the leaderboard looks like it has been dipped into a blender!  Only three players reamined in their previous places, our leader Doug The Gandy Candy Dude, David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey, as well as our perennial cellar dweller, Kathy The Church Forecloser.  That means that nineteen (19) players have changed positions this week!

There was a pair of players who hold the distinction of biggest movers of the week.  Leon Your Most Humble Sheriiff and Jeremy The Coach plummeted this week, each tumbling nine (9) spots landing in 12th and 16th, respectively this week!

Conversely, Zee, aka Sissy rocketed up the totem pole eight (8) places to reside now in 5th place!

Meanwhile, Cole The On Demand Baseball Player slithered down the leaderboard five (5) positions to rest nwo in 9th place.

On the positive side, Carlton The Doorman, A&M Aggie Sue, as well as Edie The Las Vegas Super Star all stepped up four (4) pl;aces when all the dust settled in Charlotte, sitting now in 6th,7th, and 8th, respectively.

Lastly there are two players who moved three (3) spots this week.  Bernie The Bay Area Bandit successfully moved up further into the top five this week to reside in second place.  However Crole, aka Rudy did not fair nearly sow ell, falling three (3) places to rest just 6 points from inheriting “The Outhouse” award this week!

 

Straight From The Crapper

 

This week we have four players that exhibited a total lack of expertise in selecting winners and received a single digit score!  However, the player who wins, hands down, “The Crappiest Pick of The Week” is Carole, aka Rudy with her total score of four (4) points!

With those magical four (4) points scored this week, Rudy closes the gap Kathy The Church Forecloser, on our segment long cellar dweller.  There now is only seven (7) points that separate The Church Forecloser and Rudy for the honor of winning the 3rd segment “Outhouse Award”!  The battle heats up!

Next week the Sprint Cup haulers will unload their race cars just outside Kansas City, Kansas for the second race of this round of 12.

Good luck to all!

TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVES UP, FLIP YOUR VISOR DOWN, AND LET’S GO RACIN’!

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