Two weeks ago at Dover, “Young Money,” Kyle Larson, took a painful master class in restarts from , Mr. Seven-Time, the consummate Professor Jimmie Johnson.
In Sunday’s FireKeepers Casino 400 at Michigan International Speedway, Larson graduated with high honors, using a series of exceptional restarts to win his second Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series race of the season and his second in a row, dating to last August, at the two-mile track in the Irish Hills.
At Dover, Larson lost a race in which he had the dominant car when Johnson snookered him on a late restart and seized control of the race.
On Sunday, with a strong push from Ryan Blaney in the bottom lane during a restart on Lap 186 of 200, Larson, the polesitter cleared Kyle Busch for the lead through the first two corners and stayed out front the rest of the way—through two more quick cautions—to win for the third time in his career!
The Fraternal Order of The Go Fast
This week there are two players who share this award. Both Kathy The Church Forecloser and Jerry The Buschwacker are enshrined in the fraternity for selecting “Young Money”, Kyle Larson to hoist the hardware at Michigan. Both players racked up a really cool 57 points!
The Movers and Shakers
As was noted in the aforementioned paragraph both The Church Forecloser and The Buschwacker racked up the highest score for the Michigan race!
All by herself, Bernie The Bay Area Bandit moved under the cover of darkness and clocked in as the second highest scorer this week. The Bandit added 44 points to her meager 2nd segment totals. It appears, however, that she is beginning to rally and maybe might be moving out of the immediate neighborhood of “The Outhouse”!
Meanwhile, Jeremy The Coach, Linda The Cookie Mom and Leon The Retired Airline Captain, Cardiac Surgeon, Strawberry Picker, Elephant Driver, NASCAR Photo-journalist, and Your Most Humble Sheriff all racked up 40 points with their ride along with Chase Elliott!
Lonna the Quilt Angel and Jim, aka Chiefy added 39 points to their early 2nd segment totals while riding shotgun with Matt Kenseth at Michigan on Father’s Day.
Rounding out the top five scorers this week is a trio of females that includes Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle, Snoopy Dawn, as well as Carole, aka Rudy. All three players were rolling the bones in favor of “Sliced Bread”, Joey Logano! For their effort they each added 36 points to their segment totals this week.
This week there was a mass movement leaving only four players remained tin their previous positions, Snoopy Dawn, Cole The Redneck Understudy, Bernie The Bay Area Bandit, as well as our resident “Prince of The Poophouse”, Jeremy The Coach!
The dude who changed more zip codes than somebody in a 3rd world country earthquake would be our former leader, Doug The Gandy Candy Man and Ageless Sprint Car Driver. The Candy Man dropped like a hot potato this week, falling six (6) spots to land in 7th place!
Not far behind The Candy Man in places lost this week is David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey who fell five (5) places to sit now in 17th place. However, I must reveal that The Throttle Jockey PARKED IT in Victory Lane with his win in the BCRA midget race at Ocean Speedway in Watsonville, CA! NEVERLIFT my friend, NEVERLIFT!
There was a quintet that moved around on the totem pole, climbing three (3) spots this week. This five-some includes Lonna The Quilt Angel, Jim, aka Chiefy, Karen the Highly Opinionated Southern Belle, Jerry The Buschwacker and Kathy the Church Forecloser. These five players now sit in 3rd, 4th, 5th, 11th and 16th, respectively.
There is still another group of players, Leon Your Most Humble Sheriff, Dan The Numbers Cruncher, Bobby Blue Crush, Linda The Cookie Mom, Carol, aka Rudy and A&M Aggie Sue who all moved two (2) places on the leaderboard this week. The Sheriff, The Cookie Mom and Rudy all stepped up two (2) spots to sit in 1st, 8th, 13th and 15th, respectively. However, The Numbers Dude and A&M Aggie Sue stumbled down two (2) places to sit in 6th and 18th, respectively.
Round out the movers this week is a trio that consists of Zee, aka Sissy, Edie The Las Vegas Super Star and good ol Skid-Marc. All three players slipped down one place this week landing in 13th, 14th and 19th, respectively.
Straight From The Crapper
Once again Jeremy The Coach sits comfortably on “The Throne” deep inside “The Outhouse”!! Notwithstanding the fact that The Coach scored 40 big points this week, it was not enough to get him out of “The Poophouse” this week!
Next week NASCAR as well as yours truly will be unloading at Sonoma for the first road course race of the year!
Good luck to all.
So this Thursday I will be ‘putting some flowers in my hair’, loading up the motorhome, and heading out to the beautiful SF Bay Area and the “Wine Country”!
TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR GLOVES UP, FLIP YOUR VISOR DOWN, AND LET’S GO RACIN”!