Brad Keseloswski

Blazingly Bad” Brad Keselowski led all but 55 laps or 445 laps of the 500 scheduled of the STP 500 at Martinsville Speedway, including the final 127, to capture his second win of the season Sunday! And all that his competitors saw of “Blazingly Bad” Brad was his rear bumper!

Keselowski’s victory is his second at Martinsville and the 29th of his Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series career.

Chase Elliott finished second in the No. 9 Hendrick Motorsports Chevrolet as the 23-year-old was never able to complete the final pass to take the lead.

Keselowski took the lead from teammate and pole-sitter Joey Logano after six laps, and remained in charge for the next 319 circuits — which included two stage wins.

Chase Elliott, who had hounded Keselowski for the waning laps of both stages, finally made the pass for the lead on Lap 325, and he held onto it for 49 laps.

But Elliott’s car slowed after his hard work to race to the front, and Keselowski regained his lead on Lap 374.

In all, Keselowski led 446 of 500 laps.

THE FRATERNAL ORDER OF THE GO FAST

This week both Jeremy The Coach and Dan The Numbers Cruncher utilized their “Blazingly Bad” Brad selection at a very opportune time, “The Paper Clip” of Martinsville. Both players used this 60 point score to catapult themselves into the top five this week!

THE SHAKERS AND THE MOVERS

Also doing quite nicely this week is Edie The Las Vegas Super Star, who racked up a very nice 48 points from Ryan Blaney’s 4th place finish.

Additionally, Wild Bill The Pretzel Man had a lot to celebrate when the checkers flew at “The Paper Clip”. The Pretzel man added 47 points to his totals via Denny Hamlin’s 5th place finish.

Meanwhile, Snoopy Dawn snuck her way into the top five scoring this week. Snoopy was all in with Aric Almirola this week, and grabbed 41 points from Almirola’s 9th place finish.

Rounding out the top five scorers this week is Carole, aka Rudy, and Carlton The Doorman. Both players were rooting on Clint Bowyer, who slipped his hot rod into 7th place when the rag was dropped, and rewarded this pair with 38 points.

As witness to the closeness of competition in the first six races of this segment, we had a couple of players move a tremendous amount of places this week on the leaderboard. The biggest mover of the week is Dan The Numbers Dude! With his score of 60 points The Numbers Dude rocketed up the scoring pylon nine (9) positions!

Moving almost as many places this week is Amber The Extremely Lucky Cheddar Head. Unfortunately, The Cheddar Head slipped, stumbled and fell six (6) places to rest now, out of the money, and in 9th place.

Jeremy The Coach, Wild Bill The Pretzel Man, and Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle, an unlikely trio, moved four (4) places this week. Both The Coach and The Pretzel Dude enhanced their previous position by four places, sitting now in 2nd and 14th, respectively. Conversely, The Highly Opinionated One tumbled four places to reside now in 6th place.

Still another motley crew consisting of Linda R. The Lemonade Lefty, Lonna The Quilt Angel, as well as Bernie The Bay Area Bandit were issued new zip codes this week. All three ladies fell out three (3) places to sit in 8th, 12th, and 13th places, respectively.

Rounding out the top five movers this week is Jim, aka Chiefy, and Linda B. The Cookie Mom. Both players dropped two positions to sit this week in 17th and 18th, respectively.

STRAIGHT FROM THE CRAPPER

This week we get a two-fer!

Sharing “The Crappiest Pick of The Week” are the two people that I just finishing discussing in the above paragraph. Both Chiefy and The Cookie Mom could only muster up a single digit for a score this week. They both were supporting Erik Jones and could only add a microscopic 7 points to their 1st segment totals. That gave them this award, hands down!

Additionally, that dismal 7 points sent The Cookie Mom directly to The Outhouse! In fact, it was such a swift and straight shot that she did not pass GO, and most definitely did not collect $200!

Check out the results of the STP 500.

Next week NASCAR rolls into the lightning fast race track, the Texas Motor Speedway.

TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR BELTS TIGHT, AND LET’S GO RACIN’!

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