Denny Hamlin

Denny Hamlin powered to his second Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series victory of the season Sunday, recovering from two pit-road penalties to win at Texas Motor Speedway.

Hamlin rallied after a pair of pit-road penalties — one for speeding, another for an uncontrolled tire — to lead 45 of the 334 laps in the Joe Gibbs Racing No. 11 Toyota. His triumph in the O’Reilly Auto Parts 500 was his third win at the 1.5-mile Fort Worth track and the 33rd of his Monster Energy Series career.

Clint Bowyer held on for second place in the Stewart-Haas Racing No. 14 Ford. Teammate Daniel Suarez secured third, Erik Jones recovered from a Lap 14 spin to take fourth, and pole-starter Jimmie Johnson led 61 laps and claimed fifth for his first top-five finish of the season.

In spite of trying to “give it all away” on two different occasions, Denny hoisted the hardware at the end of the day!

THE FRATERNAL ORDER OF THE GO FAST

This week not a single player had selected Denny Hamlin as their Texas pick. Therefore, this award will be returned to the cabinet and brought back out next week at Bristol.

THE MOVERS AND THE SHAKERS

This biggest scorers of the week is a troublesome twosome consisting of Jim, aka Chiefy, and Dan The Numbers Cruncher. Both characters have been operating way below the radar returns this segment, however, this week they have posted a rather large return on the radar scope! Each added 42 points to their totals via Jimmie Johnson’s 5th place finish.

Another player who has been “on the down low” rebounded very nicely is none other than Carlton The Doorman. The Doorman added 37 points to his segment totals when his man, Kyle Busch, rebounded for a 10th place finish.

Also doing very well this week is Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle and Leon Your Most Humble Sheriff. The duo was hoping that, “that Jones Boy”, aka Erik, would rack up his first 2019 victory at Texas. Jones didn’t win, but he did perform a world class recovery to his unassisted and uncontrolled spin on lap 15, all without backing it into the wall. Additionally, he and his crew did not panic, they just steadily made gains all race to finish in 4th place, and rewarded these two with 33 points!,

Meanwhile, Carole, aka Rudy, Jeremy The Coach, and Linda B. The Cookie Mom were really hoping that Chase Elliott could drive his NAPA Know How No.9 Chevy into Victory Lane. Again, that was not the case. But, Chase did deliver this trio 32 points for his 13th place finish.

Rounding out the top five scorers this week is Linda R. The Lemonade Lefty. The Lemonade Lefty added 31 points to her totals as her man Ryan “No Neck” Newman finished 11th.

This week fourteen (14) out the eighteen (18) players changed places when the checkered flag flew at TMS. The single biggest mover this week is Snoopy Dawn. Snoopy did not have a sterling race today and her microscopic score of one (1) point put her in a bind, kind of like the old Charlie Daniels tune “The Devil Went Down To Georgia”-—but I digress! Anyway, Snoopy dropped like a steamy hot potato plummeting six (6) positions to rest in 11th position.

Having almost an equally rotten race is Edie The Las Vegas Super Star. The Vegas Super Star fell five (5) places to sit in 8th place as the Sun set on Texas Motor Speedway.

Meanwhile, Carlton The Doorman and Wild Bill The Pretzel Man moved four (4) spots. The Doorman stepped up his game this week taking the express elevator up four floors to sit in 7th place. Unfortunately, The Pretzel Man punched out and now sits in 18th place! More to follow about The Pretzel Dude later!

This five-some consisting of Karen The Highly Opinionated Southern Belle, Carole, aka Rudy, Linda R. The Lemonade Lefty, Jim, aka Chiefy, as well as Linda B. The Cookie Mom all moved up two (2) spots to sit in 4th, 5th, 6th, 15th, and 16th, respectively.

Lastly, Dan The Numbers Dude, Bobby Blue Crush, Amber The Extremely Lucky Cheddar Head, David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey, as well as Kathy The Church Forecloser all moved next door from their previous positions. The Numbers Dude, Blue Crush, and The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey all moved up one place to sit in 3rd, 9th, and 14th, respectively. Whereas The Cheddar Head and The Church Forecloser dropped one slot to rest in 15th and 17th, respectively.

STRAIGHT FROM THE CRAPPER

The Crappiest Pick of The Week goes out to Edie The Las Vegas Super Star who was only able to salvage one (1) microscopic point this week!

We have a new occupant in The Outhouse this week! The Cookie Mom’s time in The Outhouse was extremely limited, she was evicted this week by Wild Bill The Pretzel Man. Even though The Pretzel Dude evicted The Cookie Mom, she is only one (1) slim point away from reclaiming The Outhouse next week!

Next week NASCAR moves northeast to Thunder Valley, aka Bristol Motor Speedway, another race track where emotions and weapons should be check at the pit gate. It is also another facility where a driver could “give it all away”!

TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR BELTS TIGHT, AND LET’S GO RACIN’!

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