Ryan Blaney

Two factors threw the Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series Playoffs into chaos on Monday afternoon — Talladega and Ryan Blaney.

By .007 seconds — the sixth-closest finish in series history — Blaney edged Ryan Newman to win Monday’s rain-delayed 1000Bulbs.com 500 at Talladega Superspeedway, which took a big bite out of most other playoff contenders and set up a scramble for the six remaining spots in the Round of 8 next Sunday at Kansas Speedway.

Blaney led the field to green with two laps left, after a caution for an 11-car pileup on the backstretch caused the eighth caution of the afternoon. On the final lap, Blaney surrendered the lead to Newman, who got a strong push to the front from eventual third-place finisher Denny Hamlin.

Coming to the checkered flag, Blaney side-drafted Hamlin and uncoupled the two cars, and with help from fellow Ford driver Aric Almirola, he beat Newman to the finish line by roughly one foot!

THE FRATERNAL ORDER OF THE GO FAST

This week our resident dirt track racer, David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey, was fortunate to have selected the son and grandson of legendary dirt track racers, Lou Blaney and Dave Blaney, respectively, as his Talladega winner. That is to say that The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey was riding shotgun with Team Penske’s YRB, aka Young Ryan Blaney! Along with this selection The Mudslinger was rewarded 46 points from Blaney’s victory.

THE MOVERS AND THE SHAKERS

Also have a very good day at the race track this week is a twosome consisting of consisting of Jeremy The Coach and Bobby Blue Crush. Both players were solidly behind Sliced Bread. Both players were really hoping that Joey Logano would stay out of “The Big Ones” and be able to drive his hot rod into Victory Lane at the end of the day. That was not to happen, but this duo racked up 44 points from Logano’s stage points and his 11th place finish in the race.

Meanwhile, Leon Your Most Humble Sheriff and Amber The Extremely Lucky Cheddar Head added 34 points to their totals today. Both players were riding shotgun for this wild card race with The Delivernator. Even though Denny Hamlin was beaten and banged up in some of the carnage today, when the was crumpled sheet metal, stray pieces and parts were cleaned up, he was able to salvage a 3rd place finish.

Both Linda B. The Cookie Mom and Kathy The Church Forecloser banded together in their support for Chase Elliott. Elliott was in and out of the sheet metal clutter, as cars were tossed all over the race track and dropped kicked into the various retaining walls around the track. Nevertheless, this duo added 29 points to their third segment totals.

Rounding out the top five scorers is a twosome consisting of Carole, aka Rudy and Linda R. The Lemonade Lefty. Both of these ladies were able to put another 13 points into their third segment bucket

Twelve of the sixteen players exchanged zip codes today! The largest mover this week is David The Mudslinging Throttle Jockey who powered himself up the scoring pylon seven (7) spots to take over the fifth position. It looks as though The Mudslinger is making a run on a money paying position for the final segment of the season!

Not far behind The Throttle Jockey, moving six (6) places this week, is Bobby Blue Crush. Blue Crush has landed in 7th place as NASCAR leaves Talladega.

Meanwhile, there is a quartet that moved four (4) positions after the checkered flag flew at Talladega. That foursome includes Edie The Las Vegas Super Star, Carlton The Doorman, Lonna The Quilt Angel, and Jim, aka Chiefy. All four players tripped, stumbled, and fell four places at the end of the day sitting now in 13th, 16th, 17th, and 18th, respectively.

Jeremy The Coach has been flying under the radar for most of this segment. All of the sudden, as this segment begins to draw to a close, he has emerged in second place by powering up the leaderboard three (3) places!

Lastly, the operator of this fantasy league, Leon Your Most Humble Sheriff, is also making a run to get some of that Redneck Fantasy League third segment moolah! The Sheriff climbed up the totem pole two places this week.

STRAIGHT FROM THE CRAPPER

As quickly as Bernie The Bay Area Bandit rose up through the players to emerge as a weekly leader, The Bandit has begun slipping down the pylon with her single digit score of 6 points. With that kind of a performance this week she has garnered, all to herself, The Crappiest Pick of The Week award!

For the second week in a row Carole, aka Rudy, will be all be her lonesome in The Outhouse!

Next week NASCAR will be rolling out to the heartland of this country, the Kansas Speedway.

Check out the results of the 1000Bulbs.com 500.

TIL NEXT TIME, PULL YOUR BELTS TIGHT AND LET’S GO RACIN’!

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